Very Smart Brothas
-
Yup, Black Pittsburghers Have A "Pittsburghese" Too
I went to college in Buffalo, NY, a city which shares many cultural and aesthetic similarities to Pittsburgh. Well, Pittsburgh in a time warp. It’s a city that’s perhaps 10 or 15 years behind where Pittsburgh currently is, which makes it five years behind Cleveland and 225 years behind D.C. That said, I greatly enjoyed my…
-
Master P Didn't Ruin Hip Hop, Jay-Z Did
Yeah, I said it. Any discussion about what happened to hip-hop – and by what happened, I mean the apparent downfall of it – usually starts and ends with the South and the rise of one Percy “Master P” Miller and the point when he and his No Limit tank invaded NYC and DJs began…
-
10 Things Less Somehow Less Predictable Than Chief Keef Getting Dropped From His Label
Chief Keef was recently dropped from Interscope. Here’s a list of things somehow less predictable than that predictable-ass news. 1. The wetness of water 2. Orange juice tasting like a combination of oranges, water, and sugar 3. Pharrell Williams saying something that only makes sense to Jaden Smith and albino carrier pigeons 4. The inherent…
-
A Second-By-Second Breakdown Of President Obama Reminding Us He Can Take Your Girlfriend
00:11: The aptly named Mike Jones jokes “Mr. President, don’t touch my girlfriend” —- a move that raises two questions: 1. Is there a more appropriate name for a Black man somewhat insecure (jokingly or not) about his romantic status than “Mike Jones“? 2. How awkward would this entire exchange have been if Jones’s girlfriend was…
-
Why This Kid's YMCA Membership Card Pic Is The Blackest (And Cutest) Thing We've Ever Seen This Week
1. He’s shooting a jumpshot with the form people use when they want to mimic shooting a jumpshot, even though that’s no one’s actual jumpshot form. Basically, it’s a “We Fly High” (Ballin’) video jumpshot. This is Black. 2. Even though this is a pretend jumpshot with pretend form, his smirk clearly lets you know…
-
Love & Hip Hop Hollywood, Ep. 6 Recap: Oh How Things Change
While recapping episode 3 a few weeks ago, I said the following things regarding Lil’ Fizz: He has all the sense it seems and has suggestions and solutions. Either way, never in a thousand years did I think I’d utter the words, “you know what, I kind of fuck with this nigga Lil Fizz.” Lies,…
-
10 Rap Songs That Would Be As Big (Or Bigger) Today As When They Came Out
Last weekend, I found myself in an actual (and serious) conversation about the merits of No Limit Records. I’m a southerner so I have a vast appreciation for the house that Master P built in terms of what it did for budding entreprenuers on a national scale (and by national I mean east coasters, southern and…
-
The #PostBadBeards Struggle Is REAL: Why I'm Not Mad At Fake Beards
Earlier today, I came across a discussion on the homie Demetria Lucas’s Facebook page which dealt with the beard enhancement industry. Most of us are familiar with bigen — where men with thinning hair use spray-on to make their beards and hairlines look more full — but now there are actual beard weaves, beard lacefronts,…
-
When White People Attack…Pumpkins
This past Saturday, a riot broke out during the New Hampshire Pumpkin Festival, resulting in police releasing tear gas and pepper spray into the crowd. Expletives (and allegedly, beer cans and bottles) were hurled at police. Arrests were made. Somehow, though, no one was killed for it. Maybe the true magic safety color here is…
-
Spiders The Size of Puppies? Fuck Nature, Yo.
“The South American Goliath birdeater (real name!) has a footlong legspan and two-inch fangs. Its body is about the size of a fist and it is the largest spider in the world—that we know of.” One more reason I just do not fuck with nature, b. I just don’t. Why is a spider this damn…