Very Smart Brothas
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The Worst Part Of Buzzfeed's Shockingly Self-Loathing "27 Questions Black People Have For Black People"
It’s been a little over 12 hours since I first saw Buzzfeed’s “27 Questions Black People Have For Black People.” It was shared on the timelines of quite a few of my friends yesterday afternoon, but I didn’t get a chance to actually watch it until last night. And still, 12 hours later, I’m shocked by…
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Love & Hip Hop Atlanta Season 5, Episode 2 Recap
There comes a time in the life of every reality show when its producers decide to abandon reality lite in favor of wholesale mythology. Love and Hip Hop Atlanta has chosen Season 5 to make this transition, offering us drama that’s about as real as the odds of Tammy Rivera having a successful fashion line.…
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Rachel Dolezal Still Really Wants To Be Black, Y'all, And I Think We Should Let Her
It’s been almost a year since Rachel Dolezal, everyone’s favorite post-racial turducken, emerged in the public eye, claiming she was a Black woman despite being Whiter than Lena Dunham. At Trader Joe’s. In Spokane. Manning the kale souffle sample station. Naturally, the tale of this unambiguously alabaster woman desperately wanting to be a nigga captivated…
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Ask Agatha: "Should I Correct A Black Coworker Who ALWAYS Misuses Words?"
Dylan from Cincinnati, Ohio asks: Girth or length? Asking for a friend. Um…have you met women? We want both. And if you don’t have both you better be really fucking interesting and by interesting I mean rich. And by rich I mean okay with us seeing other people—like your big swinging dick daddy while you’re…
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A List Of People Allowed To Make Jokes About Colored People Time, Explained
Who is Hillary Clinton? Hillary Clinton is the name of the made-up politician invented and expertly portrayed by Saturday Night Live’s amazing Kate McKinnon. (Who, btw, is so good in her bits — this “Close Encounter” skit is a classic — that she should just change her name to The Amazing Kate McKinnon.) Stop playing. I…
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Why Won't Hollywood Let Black Movies Be Great?
I’ve long been of two minds about Kevin Hart. On the one hand, I appreciate that he’s a seemingly bonhomous young brother who’s built an empire for himself by selling out shows and racking up receipts at the box office. There’s little more gratifying than a black man starting from the bottom (the actual bottom, Drake) and making…
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So Here's How I Accidentally Bought A Murse.
There was a time in my life—college—when I used to love shopping. Now, this was mostly because I enjoyed the malls in Atlanta, with Cumberland and Lenox Square being my favorites. I went to Cumberland because it was on my side of Interstate 285 (the west side) and sold more than shoes, baby clothes and gangsta grills (like Greenbriar),…
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Bill Clinton Is Not An "Honorary Black Person." Bill Clinton Can Go Fuck Off Somewhere
My second favorite line in Anchorman comes when an inebriated Champ Kind admits to a romantic crush he’s had on Ron Burgundy (“I miss your musk… When this all gets sorted out, I think you and me should get an apartment together!”), and Brian Fantana replies “Take it easy, Champ. Why don’t you sit this next…
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The Jordan Cry Face Meme Was Never Particularly Funny, And We Need To Retire It
There was a four to six month stretch in 2004 where I probably ate a Quinzos sub somewhere between four to 14 times a week. It was a relatively new franchise then. (At least new to Pittsburgh.) And I was so excited by the various meats and toasted breads and assembly line convection oven way…