Very Smart Brothas
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When To Stop Online Dating And Embrace Becoming An Occasionally Slutty Cat Lady Auntie
Staring at my half eaten plate of moderately priced American Asian fusion chain restaurant fare, I glanced up at my date to notice he had never stopped talking. It was our first outing together, and he was going through the regular first date particulars. All the while my mind wandered, thinking about if my new…
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Sugar Or Salt Or Who Gives A Shit Because Grits Don't Matter Enough To Have This Debate
Here are four commonly accepted and agreed on facts about grits: 1. The base color is off-white 2. It’s one of the few words where both the singular (grit) and the plural (grits) versions of it are fun to say (You could even argue that grit is a better word than a food) 3. Many Black…
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One Man's Quest To Find The Perfect Batch Of Mac And Cheese In New York City
(I first read this cautionary tale last week at Colored Boy and Friends: Mental Health Edition in New York City with the help of Bondfire Radio’s Tasty Keish.) INT. NIGHT – KITCHEN Alex is seated on a designer high stool from Tarjé at a marble counter in a tidy kitchen (with clean baseboards, thank you…
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Dear Black Parents: Please Love Your Children So They Won't Grow Up To Be Clarence Thomas
My daughter will be six months old in a few days. She is a smiling, rolling, bouncing, and burping bundle of Blackness. She’s amazing, hilarious, and perfect. She is also a minuscule masochist who doesn’t waste opportunities to find new ways to potentially injure herself. (For instance, just yesterday, while holding her while typing, she decided…
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What Happened To Craig Mack? (And Why Do So Many Ex-Bad Boy Artists Become Religious Fanatics?)
After a generally well received and meme-worthy Bad Boy reunion performance at the 2015 BET awards, the soon to be retired mogul Diddy took to Instagram to praise Lil Kim’s showmanship, and informally announce the coming of a Bad Boy Reunion tour. Earlier this year, he shared more details with DJ Khaled — the Dale Carnegie…
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Things I’d Like To See (And Not See) From BET’s Prince Tribute
(Some suggestions for next month’s tribute from a concerned fan who really wants to see BET pull this off) No yodeling from Trey Songz How dare you disrespect the legend by letting Trey Songz vocally tap dance on “Purple Rain.” Please exclude him and other fellow yodelers Jussie Smollet, The Dream, and Chris Brown. Put…
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Mary J. Blige Dancing At The Bad Boy Reunion Tour Is The Blackest Thing That Ever Happened This Week
The concept of being unapologetically Black ultimately boils down to a Black person being — or, at least, striving to be — their best self. And believing that this best self includes and doesn’t exclude or contradict with a shameless and unabashed embrace of Blackness. Admittedly, the journey to unapologetic Blackness as a Black American isn’t an…
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The Three Types Of Men You Will Date, Based On The Black Guys In Captain America: Civil War
Last weekend, I dusted off my sweatpants and trekked to the movies to see the latest Marvel Cinematic Adventure. It was a good comic book movie. Great even. I normally have a hard time sitting in a dark room for over two hours without taking at least one solid nap but I am proud to…
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How To Get Over Your Inane Fear Of Taking A Dump Next To Transgender People
When I went to my office bathroom this past Sunday, I encountered something terrifying that led me to run out shortly after I entered. I heard someone taking a huge dump. A rest-stop-during-a-12-hour-road-trip sized dump. And I want no part of others people’s poo process. It’s why, my freshman year at Lincoln University in PA,…