wypipo
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The Complete List of Racists
I believe in fairness. That’s why I would never stoop so low as to defame a member of the Ku Klux Klan or a Nazi. When I refer to Klansmen, I call them “micropenis fuckwad cowards,” as opposed to neo-Nazis, who are correctly referred to as “feebleminded gaping anuses.” I also believe that instead of…
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It’s Official: White Allies Are the Worst Wypipo in the World
Today we celebrate the winner of the 2017 World Wypipo Tournament. While many worthy competitors stepped into the arena for a chance at fame, glory and dishonor, there could be only one champion. This year, one great team rose above them all. One lone competitor entered the fray and emerged more despicable than the rest.…
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The 2017 World Wypipo Tournament, Final Round: Who Is the Worst of the Worst?
Ladies and gentlemen, today we come to you from historic Shea Moisture Coliseum to bring you the championship matchup of the first-ever World Wypipo Tournament. Over the course of this single-elimination tournament, we have watched some of the greatest Caucasian competitors from around the globe fight for wypipo supremacy. Sixty-four hopeful teams entered this epic…
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The 2017 World Wypipo Tournament: The Final 4
After two weeks of one of the most epic displays of caucasity since Starbucks put “Happy holidays” on paper cups, the World Wypipo Tournament is down to four challengers. Which one will be crowned the true champion of wypipo? Although pundits, bookmakers and sportscasters worldwide have speculated on who is the most reprehensible of our…
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2017 World Wypipo Tournament, Round 4: The Hateful 8
Ten days ago, 64 melanin-deficient standouts grabbed their flip-flops, business suits and privilege to compete in the world-renowned battle to see who will be crowned the champion of wypipo. Yet, this competition has led many to level accusations of racism against our tournament organizers. Some accused us of reinforcing negative stereotypes of Caucasians. Even though…
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The 2017 World Wypipo Tournament, the Not-So-Sweet 16: Choose Your Poison
In the NCAA basketball tournament, the collegiate teams that make it to the Sweet 16 usually consider their seasons successful. The same is true with the World Wypipo Tournament. Of all the cross-burning, safety-pin-wearing, statue-defending, cultural-appropriating Caucasians walking barefoot in Walmarts around the world, 16 have emerged as the most despicable. We should honor them.…
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2017 Wypipo Tournament, Round 2: A Few ‘Dark’ Horses Among the Blackfaces in the Round of 32
Round 1 of our tournament is officially in the books, and now we are in the second round of the 2017 World Wypipo Tournament, sponsored by Caucasian Farms Potato Salad—whose ingredients are simple and fresh (it’s just mayonnaise and white potatoes). Please remember, this competition has nothing to do with white people. It is for…
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In Defense of ‘Wypipo’
A few years ago, I was engaged in a discussion about sexual assault. The topic eventually rolled around to date rape—particularly the trend on many college campuses of enforcing strict rules when it comes to intoxicated women. In all my intellectual, sexist glory, I declared that I disagreed with the entire premise. “I agree that…
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2017 World Wypipo Tournament, Round 1, Part 2: Beckys, the Klan and the NFL Get Their Shot
As we enter the second day of our quest to find out who is the worst of the wypipo, we would like to thank all of the voters and participants in this year’s tournament. Because most of our sponsors backed out at the last minute (apparently, the marketing departments at Shea Moisture, Breitbart and Pepsi…
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The 2017 World Wypipo Tournament: Who Is the Worst?
Aside from all the Emmys, Oscars, Tonys, X Games and Darwin Awards, it seems as if no one takes the time to notice and praise the accomplishments of Caucasians. Some people believe that this is what led to the rise of the fearful believers in white genocide who call themselves the alt-right. They feel that…