wypipo
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Crazy White-People News: A Roundup
Before we begin, we want to make it clear that the enclosed references to “white people” do not literally mean all white people. While I’m sure you are aware that humor is built on the generalization of truths, and intelligent people know that nothing in the universe is 100 percent, there is a distinct subset…
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WTF, Variety?
So, yesterday Variety dropped a story about the increasing number of subscribers who are ditching traditional pay TV. Cool. No problem. Important story or whatever. But what in the fresh hell were they thinking using imagery of cable nooses for this story? Much edgy. So wow. Seriously, what exactly was this meant to convey? How…
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Ohio ‘Food Stamp Millionaire’ Found Guilty of Welfare Fraud
A white and wealthy Ohio man was found guilty of accepting more than $8,300 in food stamps and other welfare benefits, including Medicaid, over a two-year period for his suburban family. The question now is, will he actually spend time in jail, or will being rich and white win out yet again? According to WKYC,…
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The Incomplete List of Things White People Are Mad About This Week
In The Root’s efforts to reduce the amount of required daily reading about the Caucasian clutching of pearls, we have decided to condense the collective woes of wypipo into this brief listing of the things melaninless America will be weeping about this week. This checklist can come in handy for a number of reasons: Use…
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Uber Driver Kicks Not-Racist White People Out of Car for Being Racist
Now that “I’m not racist” has become the new “God knows my heart,” perhaps we should stop referring to people as racists, and instead say they were acting like racists. For instance, Donald Trump acted like a racist when he big-upped the Ku Klux Klan and neo-Nazis during a presidential press conference. Or, better yet,…
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White Man Who Yelled ‘Shut Up, Slave!’ at Black Man During Altercation at Chicago Starbucks Now Faces Hate Crime Charges
If you want to talk the talk, you gotta walk the walk. That is what William Boucher, 24, is learning after being caught on camera launching into a violent, racist rant, calling a black man a slave and comparing him to livestock after the man apparently spilled some coffee on Boucher’s light-colored suit. Hmm, there’s…
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Mo. Man, Tired of Being Called Racist for Flying a Confederate Flag, Puts Up ‘Slaves 4 Sale’ Sign in Retaliation Because That Makes Complete Sense
Y’all, there’s dumb and then there’s dumb. And one Liberty, Mo., resident is literally the representation of being “dumber than a bag of rocks” after throwing up a “Slaves 4 Sale” sign, all because he was mad at his neighbors for apparently treating him like a racist because he hangs a Confederate flag (the flag…
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Texas City Councilman Casually Drops Racial Slur While Attempting to Prove How Not Racist He Is After Controversial Facebook Post
Talk about not quitting while you’re ahead. A Schertz, Texas, city councilman decided to put his whole entire leg in his mouth and use a racial slur while apologizing for a controversial Facebook meme that caused backlash from his constituency. Following the massive destruction of Hurricane Harvey in Texas, Councilman Robin Thompson decided that it…
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The White People Are Coming! 6 Signs Your Neighborhood Is Being Gentrified
Centuries before anyone noticed Christopher Columbus wandering around the Bahamas searching for gold and a place to buy caramel decaf frappuccinos, wypipo had long been moving into brown neighborhoods and planting flags. It’s how apartheid started. It’s why people in Brazil speak Portuguese. It’s why the Native American genocide was rebranded as “manifest destiny.” Now…
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This Wine Writer Has the Perfect Drink to Wash the Bitter Taste of Slavery Out of Your Mouth
This year has already been a high-water year in the annals of American whiteness, and we’re only nine months in. Now the Canadian newspaper the Toronto Star wants you to hold its wine, cuz it’s ready to serve you the whitest thing you’ve read this month. The paper recently came under fire for a story…