#whileblack
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Because We Live In a World In Which Hoodies Are Apparently Illegal, Two Black Men Were Arrested for Nothing
In a perfect world, black people wouldn’t face incessant discrimination over our choice of dress, dialect, impeccable seasoning prowess, or how we chose to do our hair. But because certain occupants of “The Land of the Free” and “Home of the Brave” won’t ever leave us the hell alone, innocuous clothing like hooded sweatshirts have…
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'I'm White! I Got You, Girl!': #SouthParkSusan Narrowly Escapes Mollywhopping
My mother called it “cruising for a bruising.” Some places refer to it as “begging for a butt-whipping.” In my South Carolina hometown, old-timers would often ask if you wanted them to “go to your goat-smelling.” Whatever you call it in your neck of the woods, the Charlotte Observer reports that charges are pending in…
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100 Things Not To Do #WhileBlack
#LivingWhileBlack is tough. It seems that just by living our black-ass lives and minding our black-ass business, we are subject to all types of nonsensical terror, ranging from unfounded 911 calls to death. It doesn’t matter if you are a billionaire, Bob Marley’s granddaughter, an NBA player, the editor-in-chief of Vogue, a pageant queen, or…
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#SwimmingSheriffSusie Throws Lone Black Man Out of His Apartment Complex Pool
It’s officially the summer, so you know what that means: the beginning of cop-calling season. I know they have been calling the cops all year, but those white-people workouts were actually just tattletale training camps and off-season snitching sessions. Now that black people will start swimming and holding barbecues, the real games begin. In the…
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#CaucasianCallingTax: White People Need to Be Taxed for Wasting Police Officers’ Time
At this point, people are becoming hashtags in a way we never imagined. #PermitPatty, #BBQBecky and other melanin-deficient folks have decided that they should be the gatekeepers of spaces where black people thrive. Now we have #PoolPatrolPaula because socks. At this point, they’ve got to be stopped, and I know just how to do it:…
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Sentient Marshmallow Calls Police on Black Woman for Swimming in Her Own Pool
A white man, upholding his civic duty to keep his community safe, summoned local police when a black woman threatened to use her neighborhood pool for the nefarious purpose of swimming. Facebook user Jasmine Edwards posted a video to Facebook with the caption: “This is a classic case of racial profiling in my half a…
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10 Wypipo We Need to Call the Cops On
Because I believe that many of America’s Great Value-brand people harbor an innate fear of African Americans, I am perfectly aware that white people calling the cops on black people isn’t a new trend. I do, however, believe that it is time for black people to reclaim our reluctance toward dialing 911 by repaying these…
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Can We Live While Black?
It’s no secret that there’s a fear of a black planet. This fear is so pervasive, so insidious, that black people are being reprimanded for merely living. Recently, #WhileBlack has taken off. Social media is bringing attention to various overtly racist instances when existing in white spaces is perceived to be a threat. “I don’t…