verysmartbrothas
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An Ode to Lisa Nicole Carson
This past Saturday, while I was out of town and couch-crashing, I managed to come across a very interesting show on Centric TV. It was called Being: Lisa Nicole Carson and it chronicled Carson’s rise in the acting game throughout the ’90s up until her sudden disappearance throughout the 2000s and, now, her return. I…
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Open Letter to White People Who Are Obsessed With Black-on-Black Crime
Dear Caucasian Brethren, I decided to sit down and write this letter to you because every time I try to have a nuanced conversation with you, I am interrupted by the same shrill refrain. Here is an excerpt from every conversation when I ask you to help me find a solution to a problem: Us:…
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Kidz Bop Is the Best Hustle Ever
For a vast many people who haven’t put birth control to the test (and failed), Kidz Bop isn’t a thing. If you don’t have children, there’s literally zero reason to know of its existence. But for a lot of us with kids old enough to comprehend, process and regurgitate what they hear, the music struggle…
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I’m With Her: Kendall Jenner Says ‘Free the Nipple,’ and I Do Too
Let me start by saying that I have a hard time remembering the difference between Kylie and Kendall Jenner. Before the youngest spawns of Kris Jenner officially embraced the Kardashian way and jumped the “celebreality” shark, they were like Thing 1 and Thing 2 to me, background players who were indiscernible from each other. Kris’…
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Relationship Hall Passes Are Dumb, Like Jordan-Playing-Baseball Kinda Dumb
Warning: Sports analogies ahead … In theory, the concept of a relationship hall pass sounds like a novel idea. Getting actual permission from your partner to employ the services of a side chick or side dude for a set amount of time without any repercussions? It’s not my cup of tea, but if two consenting…
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Prenups Are for Poor People
And by “poor people,” I mean me and you, of course: basically, regular people. I’m 100 percent sure that the likes of Kanye and Kim Kardashian aren’t reading my writings, but if they are, I need the Pirate Black Yeezy Boost 350s in a size 10. Thanks. By definition, a prenuptial agreement is a contract…
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Pokémon Go Is Not a ‘Distraction From the Real Issues’; You’re Just Stupid
Within the last couple months or so, my soon-to-be 8-month-old daughter has been transitioning from her diet of the world’s finest breast milk and the occasional formula supplement to breast milk plus formula plus real, actual food. We started her off with rice pudding (which she tolerates). Then oatmeal (which she likes). Then oatmeal with…
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Why ‘How to React When Being Called a N–ger’ Is So Complicated, Explained
Who is Emmy Victor? Emmy Victor is a morning reporter for KCCI-TV in Des Moines, Iowa. According to her Twitter bio, she’s also a New York City-Washington, D.C.-area native and a Howard University alum. And, according to the footage I saw of her, she might also be a Tibetan monk. A Tibetan monk? Why would…