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After Christianity Today Slams Trump, the President Attacks Entertainment Tonight
The only way that President Trump knows his ass from his hand is because South Carolina Sen. Lindsey Graham and Florida Rep. Matt Gaetz aren’t crammed up his arm. Other than that, the odds are pretty low that, at any given moment, the president has any fucking clue what’s going on. So on Friday, the…
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Trump Sends Bubble-Gut Tweets as Impeachment Vote Looms
Whenever Trump is sending out massive amounts of tweets—which usually include retweets of far-right-wing bloggers praising him and calling for him to play Maverick in the reboot of Top Gun—you know that Trump is losing. This is what he’s done his entire presidency. So on the day that a vote is expected to call for…
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First Rocky, Now Thanos: We Are Being Governed by Evil Richie Rich
For those that don’t know, or aren’t old enough to remember, Richie Rich was a little white kid whose parents were so rich that by default he became the richest kid in America. Sadly, the president of the United States, in his stunted developmental growth is basically the evil version of the 1953 character who…
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Trump Big Mad at Girlfriend Fox News for Cheating on Him
The public fuss-fight between President Trump and his personal YouTube channel Fox News took another turn Sunday when the leader of the free world tweeted that he knows that they’re cheating on him and he’s tired of it. “Don’t get why @FoxNews puts losers on like @RepSwalwell (who got ZERO as presidential candidate before quitting),…
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Jury Acquits Man Who Offered $500 to ‘Anyone Who Kills an ICE Agent’ on Twitter, but Questions About ‘True Threats’ Remain
A federal jury found a man who tweeted an offer of $500 to kill an Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) officer was apparently just joking on Friday. The case revisits the issue of what is deemed a credible threat at a time when so much of what we say is online and therefore, searchable and…
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Trump Tweeted Over 100 Times Sunday Because He Didn’t Have Cheerleading Practice
With the holidays on the horizon and school winding down to a snail’s pace, the president of the United States sits alone in his sleeping coffin wearing cozy PJs and messaging with Rep. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) about which GOP boys think he’s cute. Unfortunately, this Sunday it was Graham’s turn to work the president’s slaughterhouse,…
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Kamala Harris Shuts Door on Presidency and Dunks on the President on Her Way Out
On Tuesday, Sen. Kamala Harris announced that she was ending her presidential campaign, but because Trump knows nothing about an AKA’s ability to clap back—or how to do anything with grace—he sarcastically tweeted, “Too bad. We will miss you Kamala!” Apparently, no one told the president that Kamala had already obtained three clapback infinity stones…
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Kellyanne Conway Tried to Burn Joe Biden. Then Her Husband Came and Lit Her Ass Up
I am convinced—and no one can unconvince me—that White House counselor Kellyanne Conway and her husband, Mr. Kellyanne Conway, have a sex game that looks like this: Kellyanne, aka Lil Half-Dead, will work for one of the most powerful racists in the country and Mr. Kellyanne Conway (I think his name is George or Bill…