tweets
-
Court Will Consider If the Troller-in-Chief Can Use His Twitter Block Button
President Trump is the embodiment of all right wing trolls. He dishes it out, but he can’t take it. On Tuesday, federal judges will consider whether the king of making up nicknames for his adversaries and then bashing them on Twitter can block folks who hate him and his presidency. According to The Washington Post,…
-
President Bone Spurs Continues His Assault on Dead War Hero John McCain and Even His Base Doesn't Like It
President Trump’s children, Sens. Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) and Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.), will fight for their father no matter the circumstances, but beefing with a dead war hero is a bridge too far even for the president’s most famous sons. For some reason, unknown to Satan and the birds that kicked it with the Wicked Witch…
-
The Man Who Allegedly Slept With a Porn Star During His Marriage Calls George Conway The ‘Husband From Hell’
We are a news organization, so despite the president of the United States being a full-on sleaze bucket who has arguably been one of the worst commanders-in-chief in the history of the country, we still have to use “allegedly” when referring to the president’s alleged elicit affairs despite how much we know they’re true. So…
-
Turns Out Trump’s Fine and He’s Tweeting Again
I was worried that the lid on President Trump’s sleeping coffin might have been too tight after his State of the Union speech because the president of people who support Liam Neeson took a break from bashing folks on Twitter, which has become his way since taking office. Well, it looks like the president just…
-
Trump Just Berated His Own Intelligence Chiefs, Called Them 'Passive and Naive' for Disagreeing With Him
President Donald Trump took to Twitter Wednesday to berate his own intelligence officials for not understanding the true danger that Iran poses. Yes, it is the job of the Director of National Intelligence Dan Coats and CIA Director Gina Haspel and FBI Director Christopher A. Wray to assess the threat levels of possible enemies of…
-
Your Bigoted Grandpa Trump Is Wacky Tweeting, Again
When President Trump packs up the family Ford Monarch and straps his sleeping coffin to the roof, he will be remembered as the president who tweeted a lot and did his best to destroy the world as we know it. Oh, there will be talk of how he saved the white man’s riches with his…
-
Trump Sends Temper Tantrum Tweet Denying He Threw a Temper Tantrum
The president of people who ride recumbent bikes issued a series of whiny, fussy, I-didn’t-have-a good-nap-laced tweets aimed at his brief meeting with Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer and House Speaker Nancy Pelosi at the White House Wednesday afternoon. You know, the meeting that Trump held and then stormed out of as soon as he…
-
Rex Tillerson Calls the President a Dumbass. Trump Calls Tillerson a Lazy Bitch
The first-world fuss fight between President Bull Shannon and his former Secretary of State Rex Tillerson continues as Tillerson noted that President Kelly Bundy is, in fact, an idiot. What was actually missed from Tillerson’s rare public appearance during a fundraiser for the M.D. Anderson Cancer Center on Thursday, was that he believes that Russia…
-
Eric Trump Invited Himself Into Kellyanne Conway’s Marriage and Then Promptly Regretted It
Eric Trump is a Trump, which means a few things. First, it means that he’s going to do some really stupid shit often. Second, it means that he’s going to do really stupid shit more times than not. And lastly, it means that he’s going to do a lot of stupid shit. On Tuesday, the…