tweets
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Kellyanne Conway and Don Jr. Gentrify MLK Day With Raisin and Mayo-Laced Bullshit
Much like cornrows, hips, lips, asses and black men who play basketball, white people love some Martin Luther King Jr. Once a year, they co-opt the holiday observed in his name and act like they loved him his whole life. Studies taken by Me and Me—more formally called Me (I did the study)—show that white…
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Trump Sends Bubble-Gut Tweets as Impeachment Vote Looms
Whenever Trump is sending out massive amounts of tweets—which usually include retweets of far-right-wing bloggers praising him and calling for him to play Maverick in the reboot of Top Gun—you know that Trump is losing. This is what he’s done his entire presidency. So on the day that a vote is expected to call for…
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Trump Tweeted Over 100 Times Sunday Because He Didn’t Have Cheerleading Practice
With the holidays on the horizon and school winding down to a snail’s pace, the president of the United States sits alone in his sleeping coffin wearing cozy PJs and messaging with Rep. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) about which GOP boys think he’s cute. Unfortunately, this Sunday it was Graham’s turn to work the president’s slaughterhouse,…
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Kellyanne Conway Tried to Burn Joe Biden. Then Her Husband Came and Lit Her Ass Up
I am convinced—and no one can unconvince me—that White House counselor Kellyanne Conway and her husband, Mr. Kellyanne Conway, have a sex game that looks like this: Kellyanne, aka Lil Half-Dead, will work for one of the most powerful racists in the country and Mr. Kellyanne Conway (I think his name is George or Bill…
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Guess Who Donald Trump Thinks Is the Dumbest Man on Television? Hint: He’s Black
President Trump was up past his bedtime watching the debates Tuesday night. Yes, he was wearing pajamas with the feet attached and was snacking on his pre-dinner meal of goat’s blood and baked bat wings smothered in mayonnaise when he took offense to a question asked by CNN’s Don Lemon, one of the moderators of…
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Trump Retweets Some Bullshit and Twitter Suspends the Conspiracy-Laced Account That Posted It
Donald Trump is the president of the United States but he hasn’t let that job get in the way of his actual work—being a Grade A, self-centered Twitter troll. And as such, he has a tendency to retweet some of the most outlandish bullshit because he’s easily influenced and already compromised. On Tuesday, a most-likely…
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Trump's Doing It Again. And by 'It' I Mean Attacking 'The Squad'
The president of the United States is a… At this point I want to be outraged but the president of the United States is a joke and he’s exactly what racist white men and 53 percent of white women wanted in office. He’s all the negative things I could think of to describe him. All…
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Poll Finds Trump’s Racist Dog Whistle Works With Racists; Republican Support Increases After Racist Tweets
Well, it looks like President Trump’s racist tweet targeting the fab four freshmen congresswomen is working; not only has he distracted the public from his relationship with convicted pedophile Jeffrey Epstein, his Republican base has heard the call and his support has increased. According to a Reuters/Ipsos poll, after the president tweeted that all four…
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President Trump to the Fab Freshman of Congress: Go Back to Your Country
If the migrant concentration camps weren’t enough to show you exactly where the president of people who support migrant concentration camps stands, his comments about the fabulous freshmen women of Congress should remove all doubt. During one of his now-infamous stream-of-consciousness tweets, the president implied that the women should all “go back” and fix their…
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Trump Takes to Twitter to Bash 'Radical Left' for Boycotting Home Depot
This is America. So the co-founder of Home Depot, Bernie Marcus, has every right to pledge his support and money to President Donald Trump. And people who find the president to be a vile mass of pig vomit have the right to protest Marcus’ store. Where things get weird is when the president of women…