trump
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New York Times' Report on Trump's Taxes Confirms He Is the Worst Businessman in the World, and Don Lemon's Got Jokes
In what may be the undoing of Donald Trump’s facade as the biggest, wealthiest businessman to every lace up his hard bottoms, a new report shows that Trump is exactly who we thought he was: an idiot who inherited his father’s fortune and pissed it away making bad business deals. In a scathing report by…
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White House to Former Counsel Don McGahn: Ignore Those Congressional Subpoenas, We Got You
The White House is continuing its efforts to defy Congress as new reports note that the Trump administration has directed former White House counsel Donald McGahn not to comply with a Congressional subpoena related to Robert Mueller’s investigation. Despite McGahn now being a private citizen, the White House is arguing that asking for documents related…
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Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin Is Willing to Eat Trump's Tax Returns to Keep Democrats From Seeing Them
On Monday, the Trump administration rejected House Democrats request to turn over the president’s tax returns, which is funny considering that Satan’s favorite orange pair of slippers has stated several times that he couldn’t turn over his taxes because he was being audited. Well, it turns out that being audited doesn’t prevent the president from…
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Mitch McConnell Leads the Pack in Race to Climb the Farthest Up Trump's Ass
Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) is leading the three-man race to become Trump’s favorite set of anal beads. So far, after two years in office, the race to be Trump’s whipping boy has been a three-way tie between California Rep. Devin Nunes, South Carolina Sen. Lindsey Graham, and McConnell. All three men have gone…
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Michael Cohen, Trump's Former Fixer, Starts Prison Sentence at Reality D-List Overnight Camp That Houses 'The Situation'
Michael Cohen is proof that life comes at you fast. In one breath, the slime-ball attorney was claiming that he’d take a bullet for the president of the United States, his friend and former client. In another, he spilled the beans, the Lipton, the espresso and the Takis to try and save himself from going…
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Trump Just Got Off Russia Punishment and You Won't Believe Who He Called When He Got His Phone Back
Well that didn’t take long, at all. It’s been less than a month since Special Counsel Robert Mueller released the Russia report, and President Trump is already on the phone with his Russian Bae, Vladmir Putin. According to CNN, Trump and his Russian Bae spoke Friday morning for “over an hour,” and the phone call…
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California Senate to Trump: Either Release Your Taxes or You Won't be on the 2020 Ballot
Unfortunately, it’s come to this. The president of the United States, or as he’s called in Russia, “Putin’s bitch,” refuses to show us those tax returns, claiming that he would if he could (he can) but he can’t because he’s being audited (he can still release his tax returns) because he has something to hide.…
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You Paid for Bottle Service for MAGAholics and You Didn’t Even Know It
Remember back when America was trying to figure out how Donald Trump the business man and Donald Trump the president were going to coexist, considering Trump could, say, host events at, say, a property he owns, like Mar-a-Lago, and, I’m just spitballing here, because he’s the president, the charges would be footed by the American…