trump
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Trump Won’t Apologize to the Exonerated Five, Claims They Admitted Their Guilt and That There Are ‘People on Both Sides’
President Donald Trump believes what he wants to believe. Not only can he not be swayed, but he doesn’t even want to hear anything that isn’t remotely close to what he believes. As it stands, Trump doesn’t believe DNA evidence, pollsters, his own CIA or the FBI director. If God himself came down from heaven…
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President Stephen Miller Gets His Wish: Trump Promises Mass Deportations of Undocumented Immigrants Next Week
Rumor has it that when President Stephen Miller was born, he reportedly coughed and then asked to see his doctor’s paperwork. The doctor was not only offended, but he was in awe that a baby, literally a newborn, already had a receding hairline and was wearing a suit. Miller’s official capacity in the White House…
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Trump Punks Chief of Staff Mick Mulvaney for Coughing During Interview
President Donald Trump threatened to donkey kick the fuck out of his Chief of Staff Mick Mulvaney for coughing during a taped interview with ABC News’ George Stephanopoulos, which aired Sunday. President Trump was in the middle of the interview when Mulvaney had a little tickle in his throat. That tickle became a full laugh…
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Trump International Hotel in Washington, DC, May Lose Its Liquor License
For ethics committees and folks that care about collusion, the Trump International Hotel in Washington, D.C., just a stone’s throw from the White House, has always been a source of contention. Many have wondered how a hotel bearing the name of the president wouldn’t be an obvious ethics violation considering that THE HOTEL IS OWNED…
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Trump Is Trash, So of Course, He'd Still Accept Political Dirt on Foes From Foreign Governments
Trump just can’t stop stepping in it. If there were signs all over the White House pointing out where not to step, Trump would still step in it. If “it” were lying on a rug with a flashing, neon, talking billboard that played on repeat for Trump not to step here, Trump would lace up…
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Trump Is Obsessed With the 'I-Word'—and No, the 'I' Doesn't Stand for Idiot
President Trump knows that the Democrats are split on whether or not to start impeachment proceedings, and while he’s reportedly convinced he won’t be impeached because, in his words, he’s done nothing wrong, that hasn’t stopped him from becoming fixated with the idea, both good and bad, of impeachment. He’s even come up with a…
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Trump Just Held Up a Folded Piece of Paper Claiming It's the Deal With Mexico
I’m a great uncle. As such, I’ve used every tactic in the uncle handbook to bribe my nieces into doing something they don’t want to do. Whom amongst us hasn’t faked like they’ve got Disney World tickets in their pockets to get the little ones to eat their Brussels sprouts? Well, President Trump was in…
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President Trump Told Aides to Lie About Internal Polling Data That Showed Him Trailing Joe Biden
President Donald Trump is a lot like the Wicked Witch of the West from The Wiz as he too doesn’t like bad news: The difference, of course, is that the Wicked Witch of the West just didn’t want people to bring her bad news; the Wicked Witch of the White House wants his staff to…
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Help! Trump Spoke to CNBC and I Don't Understand Anything He Just Said
The president of the United States gave an interview to CNBC and he sounded like a man who doesn’t know what the hell is going on. But what was even more concerning is instead of his usual word-salad, this was more like a word Chipotle bowl that was dropped on the floor and then kicked…
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Trump Makes Get-Well Call to Democratic Rival in Hospital
Looks like Satan’s favorite tin-man with the perpetual fake tan and the white-man-lace front might have a heart after all. According to Yahoo News, the president of people who dress up as handmaids reportedly pushed aside his political differences to reach out to Rep. Jerry Nadler (D-N.Y.) when he was hospitalized in May. No one…