trump
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Did Forever President Obama Punk Trump Out of Visiting Denmark?
While all the news has been about Donald Trump canceling a planned trip to Denmark because the Danish prime minister found claims that the president was looking into buying Greenland bogus AF, it turns out that the real story might be that Trump fears being upstaged by forever President Barack Obama. Turns out that weeks…
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Trump Quotes Conservative Conspiracy Theorist Who Calls Him the ‘King of Israel’ and ‘The Second Coming of God’
Wayne Allyn Root, a conservative Christian radio host who hasn’t met a conspiracy theory that he hasn’t pushed to his batshit crazy audience of listeners, called Trump the “King of Israel” and the “Second coming of God,” and all Trump heard was “King” and “God,” and ran with it. Early Wednesday, Trump tweeted: “Thank you…
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Proud Boy-in-Chief Threatens to Make Antifa a Terrorist Organization After Weekend Protests in Portland, Oregon
The far-right Proud Boys, the wandering group of mostly white men who you can spot wearing their “PB” branded polos, vow to continue their inbred form of American terrorism every month in Portland, Ore., after what they claimed was a successful rally this weekend, USA Today reports. The mayonnaise-smothered clan—which is totally tied to white…
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Remember That Trump Speech at the Pennsylvania Plant? Workers Had to Attend, Take Paid Time Off or Lose a Day of Pay
Turns out that those cheering plant workers behind President Trump at the Pennsylvania petrochemical plant didn’t have many choices when it came to attending the event. In fact, they only had three choices: either attend the event to get paid, use paid time off, or don’t attend and not get paid for the day. Oh,…
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This Is America: Dayton, Ohio, Mayor Had Security Increased After Public Fallout With Trump
Please think about what I am about to say: An American mayor was assigned security after a public feud with the president of the United States, because the American mayor needed protection from the sycophants who follow the president. According to Ohio’s Dayton Daily News, Nan Whaley “was assigned a security detail for just the…
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Illinois State Senator to Trump: Hey, Sorry About the Mock Assassination
State Sen. Martin Sandoval (D-Ill.), has apologized to Trump and all who support him for an incident that happened at a fundraiser. And by incident, I mean that one of Sandoval’s supporters pointed an automatic weapon—which was likely fake—at a person wearing a Donald Trump mask. Basically, the man staged an assassination of the president…
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Israel Reverses Course, Allows Rep. Rashida Tlaib to Visit. Tlaib to Israel: Nah, I’m Good
First, an Israel visit was off the table, then it was back on and now it’s off again as Rep. Rashida Tlaib (D-Mich.) has said she won’t be visiting her 90-year-old grandmother despite the country’s Interior Minister Aryeh Deri approving her request. If you are confused, don’t worry, so are we. Let’s start from the…
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The Fat President Fat-Shamed a Protester: ‘Go Home, Start Exercising’
The president’s diet consists of a half-trough filled with extra soggy KFC original recipe, a small jar of mayonnaise, two Big Macs, two Filet-O-Fish, a large chocolate milkshake (which is his actual McDonald’s order) and a chalice full of baby goat vomit. His McDonald’s order alone is almost 2,500 calories so once you factor in…
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Is Trump Trying Deport Melania? Trevor Noah Thinks So
Maybe we’ve been viewing this thing all wrong. Maybe this whole time, while most of us who didn’t vote for Donald Trump—you know, the group of us that still believe that Jamie Foxx is more talented than Donald Glover (this is not debatable); the lot of us that believe that sugar only belongs on cereal…