trump
-
Trump Is the 'First Black President’ According to Ex-NFL Player Turned Pastor Jack Brewer
Who in the hell and what in the devil? During a Black History Month celebration in the Cabinet Room at The White House on Thursday, a gang of black supporters of Donald John assembled to praise him and tout his record. One person of interest did the unspeakable – calling Poor POTUS “the first black…
-
Hotline Bling: Want a Personal Motivational Message From Rod Blagojevich? It’ll Cost You $100
One would think that disgraced former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich wouldn’t be into taping messages considering it was FBI recordings that brought down his plans to sell the Senate seat left vacant by Barack Obama, but one would be wrong. The Chicago Tribune has found that the recently pardoned Blagojevich is back on his grind,…
-
Trump Isn’t Going to Like This: Fox News Poll Projects Him Losing to Sanders, Bloomberg and…Robinette?
Fox News, the president’s personal YouTube page, conducted a poll that they released Thursday, and buried way down in the results is that should Trump face Independent Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders, evil billionaire Mike Bloomberg, or Joseph Robinette Biden, he’d lose to all of them. Wayaminit, hol up. How long has Joe Biden’s middle name…
-
Trump Voters Big Mad at Garth Brooks Because They Can’t Tell NFL Great Barry Sanders and Bernie Sanders Apart
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve mistaken Bernie Sanders, the independent Vermont senator and arguably one the best running backs to ever do it, with Barry Sanders, the Hall of Fame socialist with three houses. But Trump voters, who are inherently more NFL knowledgeable and America loving than the rest of us, didn’t…
-
Bernie Sanders to Mike Pence: Is the Coronavirus Going to Catch Your Prayer Hands Like the Last Epidemic You Faced?
Trump is either trying to use Vice President Mike Pence as a scapegoat or he honestly believes that Pence’s special connection to God will somehow save us all from the impending bad episode of 24 we are all trapped in by naming Pence the head of the coronavirus outbreak. Either way, we are all fucked.…
-
Move Over MAGA Hats, Trump Campaign’s Black Outreach Includes ‘Woke’ T-shirts
For some reason—maybe this has to do with white Midwestern farmers who don’t realize that Trump doesn’t care about them and yet they still support him—Trump believes that there is a way to pull the black vote. Since his campaign is either relentless, grossly underestimating the political education of black folks, or stupid (something tells…
-
Everyone Is Fine: Trump Says the ‘Caronavirus’ Isn’t as Bad as CDC Reports
Federal health officials—who are officials of public health, which includes scientists and people who went to school for eight plus years and spent all their time tracking diseases and looking at how to control and prevent them from spreading—have noted that Americans need to prepare themselves for a coronavirus outbreak in the U.S. Trump—who inherited…
-
Everyone Can Relax. The White House Is Very Close to a Vaccine for…Ebola?
The White House wanted to clear up a few things to set everyone at ease: First, whales are not mating with elephants so the reports of “whalephants” are false. Also, reports of quicksand deaths have been grossly misreported as the last person to die from quicksand was Wile E. Coyote. And, when the president said…
-
Watch CNN’s Jim Acosta Dunk on Trump: Our Network’s ‘Record on Delivering the Truth Is a lot Better Than Yours’
Much like the truth, President Trump doesn’t have a good relationship with CNN’s Chief White House Correspondent Jim Acosta. Mostly because the president says extremely outlandish shit and Acosta calls him out on it. In late 2018, the White House pulled Acosta’s press pass because they got all upset during a heated exchange during a…
-
Trump's 'Public Charge' Ruling Takes Effect; Makes Legal Immigration Harder
President of the United States and sentient roast beef sandwich, Donald Trump has a severe distaste for the law and brown people. When he’s not actively trying to sabotage our judicial system he’s making sure to let black and brown folks know that he isn’t fucking with them like that. Take today’s news for instance.…