trump
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Did He Try Craigslist? Trump Reportedly Wanted to Sell Puerto Rico
Trump is the dude who successfully sold three NutriBullets on eBay for a combined $15 profit and now wants to talk with you about your finances. Apparently, the brilliant real estate mogul—who was gifted all of his real estate from his father, the actual real estate mogul—considered selling Puerto Rico in 2017 because it’s an…
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Trump’s Fight Against Common Sense Has Made Dr. Anthony Fauci Collateral Damage
President Trump is the Scott Baio of Chuck Woolerys. For some reason, the president does this thing where an expert in a field—literally, a person who has spent damn near his entire life becoming an expert in his respective field—tells the president what makes sense, and the president then spends his time discrediting the expert’s…
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Trump Finally Wears Mask in Public, Still Wears It Like an Asshole
I hate you half-assed mask people. You know who you are. You are the assholes who know that masks are mandatory and maybe it’s because you’re lazy or an asshole or both, but you wear the mask at half-mast, meaning it’s over your mouth and not your nose, which makes me want to rake your…
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Trump Continues Crooked Behavior by Saving Roger Stone From Federal Prison
As anyone could have predicted—and as The Root did just a day ago—President Trump has used the power of his office to commute the sentence of his criminal crony Roger Stone. As the New York Times reports, on Friday evening Trump issued a statement announcing his decision to stop Stone from facing the legal consequences of…
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Trump: You Know Who This COVID-19 Mess and Racial Unrest Is Really Hurting? Me!
The real victim, the one we rarely talk about during this pandemic and racially trying times isn’t the families who are hurting from the coronavirus, or those who have lost loved ones. It’s not even those who have been victims of systemic racism or those who have shortened their lives trying to explain to white…
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Trump Calls Conservative OnlyFans and Proceeds to Lie About Acing a Cognitive Test
President Trump wants America to know one thing: He is the most cognitive president to ever cognitive, and when it comes to cognitive functions, he will out cognitive Olympic-level cognitive motherfuckers because when it comes to cognitive shit, he’s acing it. On Thursday, Trump told Fox News, aka conservative OnlyFans, that doctors who gave him…
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Trump’s Having a Pretty Rough Day
Trump started off his morning the way that he normally does, he woke to his favorite version of Kendrick Lamar’s Alright: Then he asked that South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham be brought into the kicking chamber where he proceeded to kick Graham’s shins bloody. He then drank four 16-ounce ostrich eggs and asked that he…
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Trump’s Sleazeball Former Lawyer Michael Cohen Is Going Back Home, and by Home, I Mean Prison
When Black folks talk about the power of whiteness, what they are referring to are folks like Michael Cohen. Cohen used to be President Trump’s personal fixer and when that didn’t work for him anymore, he ratted the president out. In 2018, Cohen was given three years in prison for campaign finance violations, tax evasion…
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21-Year Military Veteran Who Was Key Witness In Trump’s Impeachment Retiring Due to ‘Campaign of Bullying’
Think about this for a second: a man who doesn’t love America, who dodged the draft because he had sensitive bones (which may or may not have been a lie), has led a campaign of intimidation and retaliation so intense that a U.S. Army veteran is retiring after 21 years of service to his country.…
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Trump Isn’t Just Bullying Schools Into Reopening in the Fall, He’s Now Threatening to Withhold Funding If They Don’t [Updated]
I play this game with my 10-month-old daughter in which I put my hands over her eyes and then pull them away, and for that second that her eyes are covered, she really believes that I’ve disappeared. That’s been the president’s plan for the coronavirus—the Thanos of viruses, the 1996 Suge Knight of Death Row…