trump lawyer michael cohen
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Something Mysterious Is Happening With Michael Cohen But No One Knows Because It's Locked in a Vault
Where is Geraldo Rivera when you need him to get to the bottom of some secret vault shit?! On Wednesday, someone filed a document with something about a criminal case involving President Trump’s former lawyer and forever duffel bag carrier, Michael Cohen. And no one knows who filed it or what it says because it’s…
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Michael Cohen Is Singing Like 1970s Anita Baker, Claims Trump Knew About 2016 Russia Meeting
So back in the good ole days of 2016, Barack Obama was still in office and Donald Trump was an obnoxious, xenophobe who didn’t look like he had a Kardashians’ chance at CurlFest. Trump’s dumbest son—not Eric, the other one that isn’t Ivanka—was super pumped for a meeting with a Russian who claimed to have…
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It's About to Go Down: Michael Cohen Secretly Recorded Trump Talking About Payments to Ex-Playmate
In April, the President’s personal attorney and long time fixer, Michael Cohen’s New York office was raided by the FBI. The Feds reportedly seized thousands of documents, items and tapes, from Cohen’s office and on Friday, The New York Times is reporting that they may have finally hit pay dirt. According to the Times, Cohen…
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Rudy Giuliani Just Gave the Beyoncé Coachella Performance of Interviews. 3 Reasons Why It Was Staged
Rudy Giuliani has been President Donald Trump’s lawyer for less than a week, and he just walked onstage and gave the Beyoncé Coachella performance of his life. On Wednesday night, on Fox News’ Hannity, with Sean Hannity—the Fonzworth Bentley of the Conservative Party—Giuliani Boston Tea Partied all over the floor and pissed all over the…
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Federal Agents Seized 16 Old Cellphones in the Michael Cohen Raids. Everybody’s Going to Jail
You know how I know Michael Cohen is either a professional fixer or one of the drug dealers from The Wire? Because when federal agents raided his office, hotel room and apartment earlier this month, they seized as many as 16 phones and other devices. You read that correctly. There were 16 phones. Either Cohen…
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Trump Just Admitted That Michael Cohen Acted on His Behalf When He Paid Off Porn Actress, and Why This Matters
President Donald Trump needs a teleprompter around him at all times, including when he takes the presidential golf cart to his local KFC, because whenever he goes off script, he not only puts his orange-hued foot in his mouth but also risks incriminating himself. This happened Thursday morning during an interview on Fox & Friends,…
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Trump’s Personal Fixer Michael Cohen Is Going to Flip Like a Gymnast and Sing Like 1985 Prince
In an article in Vanity Fair, Trump’s longtime personal lawyer and fixer, Michael Cohen, proclaimed, “I’m the guy who would take a bullet for the president.” Well, Mikey boy, it looks like now might be the time to take that bullet. It looks as if Mikey is pulling out his best Matrix-style moves as several…
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Doing the Most for the Least: Michael Cohen, Fixer
So, remember last week when Fox News host Sean Hannity went all wild about the Michael Cohen raids, calling them a “witch hunt” and saying that special counsel Robert Mueller was “out to get the president”? Well, as it turns out, Hannity may have had a very specific reason for his ire. In a New…
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Donald Trump Is the Great Value Frank Underwood; Michael Cohen Is His Doug Stamper
Riddle me this: Why would the FBI be searching the home, office and hotel room of Donald Trump attorney Michael Cohen for all the records related to the infamous Access Hollywood tape on which Trump was heard basically admitting that he thinks it’s OK to sexually assault women? And why, as reported by the New…
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FBI Raids the Office of Trump Lawyer Michael Cohen, Seizes Info on Payments to Porn Star Stormy Daniels: Report
Now, this is getting good. On Thursday, President Donald Trump denied having any knowledge that his longtime personal lawyer Michael Cohen paid porn actress Stormy Daniels $130,000 not to discuss her relationship with the reality charlatan—a relationship she claimed included sex and the spanking of his orange-tinted buttocks with a rolled-up Forbes magazine. The New…