tomi lahren
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Watch: America's Ashiest People
If you ever wanted to 1. know who the nine ashiest people in America are and 2. watch me on camera revealing the list, today is your day. Today is your birthday. Behold as I list the folks whose ashiness transcends the physical and becomes spiritual—metaphysical, even. This is what happens when both your skin and…
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The 10 Ashiest People In America, Ranked
Conservative politics and perpetually chapped lips are a clear sign of lotion avoidance. Also, I’m looking forward to the day when his brother in conservatism and chap, Paris Dennard, joins him on the list. His first hit single, “How To Rob,” was basically an ashy nigga’s Koran, and he’s been doubling down on ash ever…
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Tomi Lahren Says People Are Being Mean to Her And It's All Maxine Waters' Fault
Tomi Lahren, Satan’s blonde-haired colostomy bag, went full snowflake on Fox News Saturday night, explaining that people think she’s a trash human being because of Maxine Waters, and not because she’s actually a trash bag full of right-wing vomit. On Saturday’s episode of Justice with Judge Jeanine, Lahren and Jeanine Pirro put on a miraculous…
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‘Fash-Lighting’: How Fascists Do Fashion?
Anyone who says personal style isn’t political is fooling themselves—and anyone who’s ever been discriminated against because of their chosen hairstyle or non-gender-conforming style of dress knows this. From “message tees” to choosing to wear our natural hair to work (or on the red carpet), our appearance is our statement to the world of who…
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A List of Things Much Better (and Safer!) Than Water to Throw at Stupid, Silly, Dangerous Racists
Someone threw some water at sentient box of racist baking soda Tomi Lahren, and the question of whether it was a justifiable act is now apparently such a thing that our loose-bootied-ass president even saw fit to weigh in. Personally, I believe it was an inappropriate act. Although Toenail Laryngitis is a hateful and ghoulish…
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Tomi Lahren Is a Descendant of Non-English-Speaking Immigrants. She Should Shut Up About Immigration
Dear Racist White People: When are you going to stop putting your chalky-ass feet in your mouth? When are you going to stop looking like fools in the name of upholding some type of white nationalism that you yourself may not even qualify for based on the required purity tests? And when, oh when, are…
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Shut Your Piehole, Tomi Lahren
Dear Tomi Lahren: This is just a quick note to let you know how much you get on my nerves. I don’t even follow you on Twitter, but people are always retweeting your inanity onto my timeline, and then I am forced to have a thought about it. Like today. Someone shared a tweet from…