Tim Scott
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White Supremacy's Best Friend: Why Tim Scott Is the GOP's Magical Negro
Black people are literally magic. Now, I don’t believe in magic, but I’m pretty sure white people do. The only reason anyone could subject a people to the invisible-but-natural force of white supremacy is if they believed we possessed a power that they don’t have. There is no way any human being could deny Black…
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Proud Boys Celebrate Trump's Call to 'Stand Back and Stand By' During Tuesday's Debate
The Grand Wizard…sorry, president of the United States horrified a lot of people Tuesday night with his astoundingly atrocious debate performance. Not everyone was plunged into a pit of existential despair, though, as the Proud Boys were celebrating the co-sign President Trump gave them during the debate. NBC News reports that multiple social media accounts…
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Was Donald Trump Jr. on Cocaine? And Other Questions From the First Day of the Republican National Convention
On Monday, Satan had his first Zoom call and the results were a baffling mess of mayonnaise-slathered fuckshit. Day one of the Republican National Convention was basically an all-you-can-eat buffet of clusterfuckness. I don’t even know where to begin. Let’s just start with cocaine, shall we? I’m no doctor, but I play one for The…
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Day 1 of Satan’s Workshop, aka the Republican National Convention: It’s All About the Trumps
I never thought this day would come. No, seriously, I just figured Trump would be so confident in Russia’s ability to steal a second election that he wouldn’t even bother with a convention, and yet, here we are. Satan’s workshop starts Monday, and there are so many things that must be addressed, but first I…
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Tim Scott Won’t Acknowledge Systemic Racism and Defunding Police Because He Actually Wants to Stop Systemic Racism…By Defunding the Police
I believe words matter…sometimes. But sometimes, words are stupid. For instance, remember when Republicans were upset because President Barack Obama wouldn’t say the words “radical Islamic terrorism” because Obama was kinda busy hunting down Osama Bin Laden and killing him? That was stupid. Then again, I am a writer and words are the foundation of…
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Republicans Unveil Trash-Ass Police Reform Bill That Discourages Chokeholds But Doesn’t Ban Them
When President Trump unveiled his bullshit police reform toilet paper executive order, there was one black person not named Sen. Tim Scott (R-S.C.) who was super supportive, almost giddy over the proposed order. That one black face was Van Jones. Jones is becoming that guy, and truthfully, if he stopped wearing his glasses, you’d have…
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Tim Scott, the Lone Black Republican Senator, Tasked With Coming Up With GOP's Police Reform Plan, and I’m Not Mad
The only thing Kentucky Sen. Mitch McConnell (R) could tell me about is how he lives in the sewer with his three turtle friends from high school and why he listens to a rat. Other than that, Mitch McConnell and his saggy neck skin can take a long walk off a short pier into a…
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Will Lynching Finally Become a Federal Hate Crime? House to Decide Next Week
While many of us view lynchings as a thing of the past, the unspeakable traumas that they’ve inflicted upon our community are still very much alive today. That and they aren’t exactly a thing of the past, as our friendly neighborhood racists always take the time to remind us. Yet despite their being racially motivated…