theory & essay
-
An Uncomfortable Convo Between A Black Person And A White Coworker
Setting: Some office, somewhere, with office shit and shit everywhere. Background: After spending much of the previous evening watching and reading about Baltimore, random Black guy (“Deron”) goes to work. Since Deron is a Pittsburgher, all of his coworkers are White. While at work, Deron actually wants to…work. Or talk about work. Or perhaps talk…
-
Respectability Politics Are No Solution; They Are A Surrender
At times like these, when the uncomfortable behavior of (mostly) Black people is broadcast to a (mostly) White audience and becomes a national discussion point, a particular type of Black person tends to emerge. Actually, “emerge” might not even be the best word, because it implies that this person rose from somewhere, when in reality…
-
Baltimore Is Not Ferguson; Freddie Gray Is Not Michael Brown
It is not difficult to witness what’s happening in Baltimore, Maryland right now and immediately think of Ferguson, Missouri. Or New York City. Or Cleveland, Ohio. Or Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Or perhaps even Los Angeles in 1992. The parallels are obvious; heartbreakingly, evisceratingly, surreally obvious. So obvious are these similarities that it does not take much…
-
How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Divine Nine
I attended a wedding last Friday. It was a great event. Good food, a live band, a great DJ, and it featured a bride/groom first dance that, if someone uploads it to YouTube, has a legitimate chance of going viral. And, since both The Wife Person and I knew both the bride and the groom, there…
-
Eric Heyl Of The Pittsburgh Tribune-Review Just Wrote The Worst Column I've Ever Read
When words like “best” or “worst” are incorporated in the titles of Things Written On The Internet, it’s often more about creating an attractive headline and crafting an argument than the writer’s sincere belief that whatever’s being written about (i.e.: “Why Chipotle Has The Best Beef Taco Ever”) is actually the “best” or “worst” thing…
-
On Getting Older And Being in Weddings
In a few months, I’m going to be the best man in one of my best friend’s weddings. This means that I’m taking on the responsibility for the bachelor party and making sure that stuff gets done on the groomsmen end in terms of tuxedo fittings, hotel arrangements, etc. This is a new experience for…
-
On Being A Diehard Sports Fan…And Marrying Someone Who Doesn't Give A Shit About Sports
Tomorrow marks the beginning of the NBA playoffs. This, the two month span between mid-April and mid-June, is my favorite time of the year. Not my favorite sports time. There are no qualifiers. No other time of year — not my birthday, not Thanksgiving, not the season premiere of Hannibal — gives me as much…
-
It's Tax Day, So If You Believe In Prayer, Say One For Your Favorite Bloggers Today
If you frequent literally any popular blog/digital magazine — including this one — you’re indirectly contributing to the income of the people who produce, edit, and promote the content you read, watch, and listen to. For that, I speak for thousands of writers, bloggers, editors, and other content producers when I say “Thanks and shit!”…
-
A Conversation With A Guy Who Actually Admits To Having Racist Bones In His Body
It follows the same script every time. A (usually White) public figure says or does something that’s kinda, sorta, racist. People notice the racism and call him on it. He replies by denying it, using at least one of the following statements as his “evidence” 1. “I’m colorblind”/”I don’t see color” 2. “I have ***insert…