theory & essay
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"Hot Peas & Butter" And More Slavery Merriment In Virginia
Unlike many youngins I know today who’d implode from boredom and cluelessness without access to a tablet, television, or other nonsense-powered technology, my childhood homies and I were pretty active, outdoorsy kids. Though we were introduced to computers early and were known to overdo it on the Nintendo, we were just as happy out the…
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How Information Overload Turns Into Writer's Block
My morning ritual is pretty consistent. I hop up out my bed, turn my swag on, I look myself in the mirror and say “what’s up!?”. Every morning. That is followed by my morning constitutional where I catch up on the news. And there is always news. In fact there is so much news nowadays…
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The Anatomy of a Culture Vulture
Once upon a time, a leather catsuit-clad Chilli affirmed that a scrub is a guy who thinks he’s fly. In other news, he might also be known as busta. But since Chilli is preoccupied with exhuming her career from the grave, I’ll take it upon myself to behold the pale stable of horses that have…
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I've Pretty Much Stopped Drinking. Asterisk.
In 2009, I became a parent to a beautiful daughter. She is the light of my life. From 2010 to 2015, I lived two very separate lives: Daddy PJ and Partyin’ PJ. When I’m with my daughter, I’m on my Ps and Qs; I don’t even drink when she’s with me unless her mother is…
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White Men are Winning at Literally Everything, So Why are they Still so Angry?
Who hurt you, boo? You should smile more. It may feel like the whole world is against you, but do all of you have to be so bitter? Look at all of your athletes and celebrities with astronomical success. You have special programs to get you into colleges and businesses based almost entirely on your…
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"Return of The Mack" Is The Best Song Ever That Nobody Acknowledges Is The Best Song Ever
There’s no need to parse words here: “Return of the Mack” is easily one of the best songs ever created in the history of the planet. Sure, it’s no “Moonlight Sonata”, but “Moonlight Sonata” is no “As”, feel me? But far and wide, nobody wants to put the proper ‘speck on “Return…” Well that changes…
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Five Perfectly Practical Reasons Why Y'all Need To Stop Inviting Every Random-Ass White Person To The Cookout
Invariably, as the controversy over Bill Maher’s house nigga continues to persist, a peripheral conversation about Maher’s mythical cookout-invitee status has occurred. According to some of y’all—and by “some of y’all” I really mean “some of y’all”—Maher has done enough in his career to warrant enough of a benefit of the doubt to still score…
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So I Just Became a Mental Health First Aid Instructor And Here Is What I Learned
I can breathe now. After spending the past 13 months trying to get accepted and five days powering through a dense curriculum and teaching simulations, I finally received my certification as a Mental Health First Aid Instructor. Therapy and chicken wings for everyone. I first heard of the Mental Health First Aid course as a…

