suckabee
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Sarah Huckabee Sanders Continues Her White-Tears Tour Despite Being Satan's Mouthpiece
White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders, aka Suckabee, is still drinking the White House Kool-Aid—the special blend of indignant righteous and aloof ramblings that allows for unfathomable levels of heartlessness. On Tuesday, Suckabee had the audacity to claim that she would be a hypocrite if she didn’t treat everybody with respect since that’s the…
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Sarah Huckabee Sanders Refused Service by Restaurant, Then Cries White Tears on Twitter
I don’t condone refusing service to people unless their names rhyme with “Farah Suckabee Flanders”—then I’m all for a restaurant staff asking the White House press secretary to leave the premises immediately. According to Suckabee’s tweets, a Virginia restaurant kindly asked the first lady of defending the indefensible to kick rocks. Suckabee claims that she’d…
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In 1 Press Conference, Kirstjen Nielsen Just Beat Out Sarah Sanders for Most Hated Person in Trump’s White House
President Mein Führer von SpankDat is excluded from the “most hated in the White House” game because he would win every time. Before Monday’s press conference with Department of Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen on the youth internment camps—which used to be big-box department stores or warehouses before becoming makeshift youth prisons—Sarah Huckabee Sanders, aka…
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White House Wizardess of Weird-Ass Lies Will Willingly Walk Away From Her Job: Report
Previously on White House Apprentice, press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders—alias “Suckabee”—spun so many yarns in the act of protecting her lord and savior Donald Trump that even Fox News was giving her the side-eye. She has been called out on her lies and rightly dragged for them, but still she persisted—until now, that is. Suckabee…
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Journalist April Ryan to Sarah Huckabee Sanders: Street Politics Only Lead to Catching These Hands
White House correspondent April Ryan continues to hold the feet of White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders, aka Aunt Lydia, aka Under His Smoky Eye, aka Suckabee, to the flames. On Thursday, God’s favorite black reporter tried to pin down the elusive Suckabee as to whether the president planned to answer any questions from…
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Suckabee Goes Down in Flames as a Proxy for Donald Trump at White House Correspondents’ Dinner; Snowflakes Liquefy
I didn’t know who comedian Michelle Wolf was before, but I know her now. And I think I love her. At Saturday night’s annual White House Correspondents’ Association dinner, Wolf flamed the Trump administration and its flunkies (since Donald Trump is too much of a punk to take the jabs himself), and conservatives the world…
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Is Journalist April Ryan on a White House Blacklist After Asking About Stormy Daniels?
Veteran journalist April Ryan continues to do the Lord’s work just by walking into the White House—which I’m sure at this point smells like moped smoke and zoo dirt—and asking the tough, hard-hitting questions that no one else is asking. On Tuesday, Ryan noticed that White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders, aka Suckabee, didn’t…
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Jim Carrey Captures Sarah Huckabee Sanders’ Inner Demon in Portrait and the ‘MAGA’ Crowd Isn’t Happy
Funnyman Jim Carrey is actually a really deep dude who meditates and paints. On Saturday, Carrey released a portrait of a woman who favors White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders, aka Suckabee. Somehow, Carrey was able to capture Suckabee’s true inner-demon spirit. It’s almost impossible to truly capture the vile and hideous energy that…
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Watch Sarah ‘Suckabee’ Sanders Explain What the President Really Meant When He Claimed He Would’ve Run Into Florida High School
The devil speaks in his native language, which to many isn’t an actual language; it’s just mere sounds and grunts and vomit noises. As such, the devil often needs a translator: Enter Sarah Huckabee Sanders, aka Suckabee. One of Suckabee’s few jobs is to translate for the devil, who, for years, has been losing some…
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Sarah Huckabee Sanders Claims Trump Supports Victims of Domestic Violence; His Tweets and Statements Say Otherwise
Last week, two White House staffers resigned from their positions amid allegations they had both physically and emotionally abused their former spouses. When it was revealed that both the FBI and White House officials knew about the allegations against both men, it raised questions as to why they were allowed to keep their jobs and…