sports
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President Pee-Pee Won’t Be Throwing the 1st Pitch on Opening Day Because He Has Tiny Fingers and Hates America
If you ever had any doubt that President Vladimir TrumPutin was an un-American shit bag, look no further: The deal-maker who has made no deals since riding Russia’s wave into the White House has turned down the Washington Nationals’ offer to throw out the first pitch on opening day. The good people over at Sporting…
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The Oakland Raiders Are Moving to Nev., and Something Tells Me This Is Going to End Badly
In a move that appears to have disaster written all over it, the NFL has approved the Oakland Raiders’ move to southern Nevada. Look, I could care less about the fans losing a team, and I could care even less about the new fans gaining a team. I mean, I feel sorry for the loser…
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Seattle Seahawks QB Arrested After Car Crashes Into Bar
Seattle Seahawks backup quarterback Trevone Boykin was arrested early Monday morning after a car he was in crashed into a Dallas bar, injuring five people. Boykin, a former standout at Texas Christian University, was a passenger in the car that crashed into Sidebar Bar around 2 a.m., Fox 4 News reports. According to the news…
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Wait, Former College Hoops Star Juan Dixon’s Father Isn’t Dead?
It was the saddest 2002 March Madness story ever. Baltimore native Juan Dixon, who was starting at the University of Maryland, had lost both of his parents, Phil and Juanita Dixon, to AIDS-related illness when he was only 16. Dixon would go on to lead the Terrapins to the national championship that year, and the…
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Has the NFL Blacklisted Colin Kaepernick?
On March 7 the National Football League began its free agency period—the time when teams can offer a contract to any unemployed player. In a league where it is impossible to win without a quarterback, teams usually throw bucketloads of money at veteran starting quarterbacks in an effort to lure them to their franchise. A…
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Spike Lee Knows Why Colin Kaepernick Is Still a Free Agent
I don’t agree with everything Spike Lee says, but when he posted on Instagram that he found it “fishy” that NFL teams weren’t champing at the bit to scoop up free agent Colin Kaepernick, I had to agree. For those still asleep, besides having one of the most perfect Afros that has ever Afroed, Kaepernick,…
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Watch the Most Amazing 2-Hand Overhead Buzzer-Beater Ever
I don’t know if University of Maryland women’s basketball star Destiny Slocum could hit this shot again if she wanted to, but during the Terps’ rout of West Virginia to advance to the Sweet 16, Slocum chucked a 70-foot two-hand overhead shot right before halftime. It wasn’t just the shot that was amazing; it was…
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I’m a Duke Fan. Fight Me. Here’s How It Happened.
It’s March Madness time again, America. Office’s across America are bracing for Thursday and Friday’s lack of productivity as we all spend the vast majority of our work days refreshing whatever sports apps or sites we use to keep up with scores if we’re not altogether saying “fuck work” and watching the tourney on our…
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UCLA Guard Lonzo Ball’s Childhood Home Burglarized During Brothers’ Game
While Lonzo Ball is getting geared up to lead the UCLA Bruins into March, and his brothers, LiAngelo and LaMelo Ball, were busy starring for Chino Hills High School, burglars were busy breaking into the family’s Chino Hills, Calif., home. LaVar Ball, the boys’ outspoken father, told ESPN that the burglars threw a rock through…
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The Golden State Warriors’ Andre Iguodala Fined $10,000 for Making Remark About Working for ‘Master’
The National Basketball Association has fined the Golden State Warriors’ sixth man, Andre Iguodala, $10,000 for a racial remark he made after Friday night’s loss to the Minnesota Timberwolves. ESPN reports that Iguodala was asked Friday night if he knew whether or not he would be sitting out Saturday’s game along with Steph Curry, Klay…