sports
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Baltimore Ravens Owner Asks Man Accused of Double Murder Whether He Should Sign Colin Kaepernick
Baltimore Ravens owner Steve Bisciotti said Sunday that the team is still weighing its options at quarterback; he mentioned winning, and then he mentioned Colin Kaepernick. “We do want to win games, and I’m not sure he is going to help us do that,” Bisciotti said of Kaepernick, ESPN reports. “We’re monitoring Joe [Flacco and…
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How James Harden Became the Real MVP of a Houston Strip Club
As the old folks say, James Harden has more money than God after signing the largest contract extension in NBA history earlier this summer. The extension will make Harden a Houston Rocket until the 2022-2023 season, and that likely makes Houston strippers happy, considering that Harden is reportedly one of their best customers. According to…
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Five Perfectly Logical And Understandable Reasons Why Kyrie Irving Would Want Out Of Cleveland
Perhaps you might have heard that Kyrie Irving asked to be traded from the Cleveland Cavaliers. And that he apparently made this request as early as last year, soon after the Cavs won the championship. And that the Cavs were already attempting to trade him this summer, and that this is part of the reason why…
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8th-Grader Gets Football Scholarship Offers From University of Ala., Ole Miss and Miss. State
Jaheim Oatis just graduated from the seventh grade. Jaheim Oatis is 6 feet 4 inches tall and weighs 286 pounds. Jaheim Oatis is a baby and a beast who happens to be shaped like a grown man. And big football powerhouses want in. According to a tweet posted Friday by the 14-year-old, the University of…
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Who Is Da Real Lambo, and Why Is He Threatening LeBron James?
I like to think I keep my finger on the pulse. Currently, I’m eating Migos Rap Snacks while wearing a Supreme Obama anorak with matching pants and listening to French Montana’s “Unforgettable” featuring Swae Lee. So it’s safe to say I’m plugged in, but I don’t know who the hell Da Real Lambo is, so…
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Football Has an Even Bigger Concussion Problem: Nearly All Donated Brains From Deceased NFL Players Had CTE
Out of 202 brains of deceased football players studied, CTE was diagnosed in 177 of them, a number that includes NFL, college and even high school athletes. According to the Associated Press, “It’s the largest update on chronic traumatic encephalopathy, or CTE, a brain disease linked with repeated head blows.” While the nearly 90 percent…
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LeBron James Wants to Beat Kyrie Irving’s Ass: Report
OK, now this is really getting good. According to sources who spoke with the always yelling Stephen A. Smith, King James—the lead singer of King James and the Jamettes by way of the Cleveland Cavaliers—wants to beat current but soon-to-be-former teammate point guard Kyrie Irving’s ass. Don’t believe me? Here’s audio of Smith’s loud-talking ass…
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Kyrie Irving Wants Out of Cleveland; Doesn’t Want to Play With LeBron Anymore: Report
NBA All-Star guard Kyrie Irving may be done being one of the “Jamettes” as a side show to LeBron James’ lead-singer role with the Cleveland Cavaliers. According to ESPN, Irving asked to be traded in a closed-door meeting with Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert and noted that he no longer wanted to play alongside James. “Kyrie…
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Prostitutes at Bunny Ranch Threaten to Quit if O.J. Simpson Gets a Job There
Deplorables are easy to spot, since they’re usually wearing a “Make America Great Again” hat or a white hood or something by Ed Hardy. Another way to tell if you are a deplorable is if prostitutes threaten to quit if you get a job where they work. Apparently, some of the working women at Nevada’s…
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Here Is What a Tour de France Cyclist’s Legs Look Like After 16 Stages
I must say that I’ve never wondered what a cyclist’s legs look like after a race, but I can admit that after riding my bike a few miles, I have trouble fitting into my skinny jeans. Don’t judge me. Anyway, Polish cyclist Pawel Poljanski thought it would be a good idea to share a photo…