sports
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Snowflake Mike Pence Flees Colts-49ers Game After Players Kneel During the National Anthem
Updated Sunday, Oct. 8, 2017, 3:11 p.m. EDT: President Asshat himself said on Twitter that he ordered Mike Pence to leave the game if players took a knee during the national anthem. Earlier: Vice President Mike Pence, who once whined that there was “far too much of this talk of institutional bias or racism within…
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We Need to Talk About Jeremy Lin’s Dreadlocks
Jeremy Lin has dreadlocks. As a writer, I was taught to craft a “lede” to a story that concisely summarizes the who, what, when, where and how of the story. I’ve been doing this for a long time, but sometimes you have to use the words that Jesus puts in your heart. When I bent,…
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Adidas’ Deal With the University of Louisville Was Supposed to Benefit the Athletic Department, so How Did Coach Rick Pitino Get 98 Percent of the Money?
On Aug. 25, when University of Louisville’s then-athletic director Tom Jurich was asked about where money from a new $160 million, 10-year deal signed between the school and athletic apparel company Adidas would go, Jurich assured all within earshot that the money would be used for the athletic department. “It’s for the athletic department,” Jurich…
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Tennessee Titans Coach Whitesplains Why Team Went With Brandon Weeden Over Colin Kaepernick
I hate president Donald Trump, but at least I know exactly where he stands and what it is I’m hating. Because the president is unfiltered, he gives those who hate him enough reasons for a lifetime. For once, I just wish that an NFL coach who has passed on Colin Kaepernick would just come out…
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Dannon Drops Cam Newton After Sexist Treatment of Female Reporter
Dannon has cut ties with Carolina Panthers quarterback Cam Newton, citing his “sexist” behavior during a press conference Wednesday. Newton had previously been one of the company’s spokesmen for Oikos Greek yogurt. The decision to part with Newton comes in the wake of a growing backlash over the quarterback’s treatment of a female reporter. As…
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LeBron James Is Not Happy With Keeping Up With the Kardashians’ Film Crew, Calls Them a ‘Shit Show’
It’s been a crazy offseason for the Cleveland Cavaliers. After they lost the NBA championship to the Golden State Warriors, rumors emerged that All-Star point guard Kyrie Irving wasn’t happy and wanted out. Trades ensued, and Irving was shipped out for several new additions to the Boston Celtics. Then LeBron reconnected with his homeboy and…
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After Winning Their 4th Championship in 7 Seasons, the Minnesota Lynx Are the Greatest WNBA Franchise
On Wednesday the Minnesota Lynx held off a scrappy late-fourth-quarter effort by the Los Angeles Sparks to clinch their fourth title in the last seven seasons, thus solidifying their place as the greatest WNBA franchise in the history of the WNBA. Don’t @ me, bro. In Game 5, the Lynx controlled what turned out to…
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USA Today Declares Devoted Father LaVar Ball ‘Worst Sports Parent Ever’
I should begin this article by comparing LaVar Ball to my father, but I can’t because … I don’t know that dude. I definitely am not as familiar with LaVar Ball as apparently USA Today’s Nancy Armour is. Armour, in response to Ball’s announcement that he was switching his son LaMelo’s high school, declared Ball…
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The NFL Hates Colin Kaepernick So Much the Tennessee Titans Just Signed Brandon Weeden
OK, at this point, it’s getting embarrassing the levels to which teams will stoop to try to sign a quarterback not named Colin Kaepernick. The Tennessee Titans just signed Brandon Weeden. Yep, Brandon Weeden. And don’t give me that bullshit that he never knelt before the flag when this asshat not only knelt before the…
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The Curious Case of Cam Newton’s Raised Fist
Carolina Panthers quarterback Cam Newton is an enigma wrapped in a flamboyant leprechaun outfit. Win or lose, Newton is gon’ make the news for his on-the-field play, his wardrobe or both. On Sunday he led the Panthers to a 33-30 victory over the New England Patriots. The Panthers are now 3-1 for the season, but…