rudy giuliani
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Pardon Me? Rudy Giuliani Reportedly Talked to President About Preemptive Pardon
Rudy Giuliani is guilty. He’s so guilty that he just casually wears prison shoes in his everyday life. Rudy Giuliani is so guilty that he apparently has a full head of hair but he wears it bald because he thinks it makes him look prison tough. Giuliani is so guilty that he reportedly talked to…
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GTFOH Trump: Thank You, Mr. President
Thank you, President Trump for raising the sun this morning and keeping my car console fully stocked with throw-away masks. Thank you for the Supreme restock on the Air Force 1s, and thank you for Starbucks unlimited supply of chocolate croissants. And since we are thanking Trump for shit he had nothing to do with,…
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GTFOH Trump Watch: Trump Released the Kraken. Turns Out the Kraken Was Sidney Powell
Imagine this: You are a lawyer and your potential client wants to file lawsuits against multiple states alleging imaginary crimes. Literally, crimes no one can see. There is no proof, no receipts, no video, Maury isn’t there, Tekashi 6ix9ine isn’t there—literally nothing to prove your potential client’s case. But he’s got two things that work…
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We See You, COVID-19. We See You
There are really only two kinds of people in this world: Those of us who wear masks, practice social distancing and stay inside as much as possible, and assholes. Or Republicans. Same thing, really. As such, Republican states and Republican operatives are basically breeding grounds for COVID-19. So it is with a heavy heart that…
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GTFOH Trump Watch: Rudy Giuliani Is the Real Saul Goodman
The parallels are uncanny. Both men work for corrupt folks. Both wear really bad suits. Saul Goodman lived in the back of a nail salon and Rudy Giuliani held a presidential press conference outside of a landscaping business that was next to a sex shop. Both say crazy things; the only difference is Saul Goodman…
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As Trump Refuses to Concede, His Campaign Displays Its Dwindling Relevancy in Parking Lot of a Random Landscaping Company in Philly
Surprising no one, Donald Trump is refusing to accept the results of the election that has made him a one term president. After multiple networks called Pennsylvania for Joe Biden on Saturday, projecting that the former Vice President had secured 284 electoral votes—more than enough to win the Presidency—the Trump campaign sent out a statement…
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Rudy Giuliani Caught With Hand in His Pants in New Borat Movie
President Trump’s personal lawyer Rudy Giuliani is continuing his lifelong reputation of being dried-up elephant hawk-spit after he was caught on film reaching into his pants and touching his genitals while lying on a bed with a woman he believed was a journalist but was actually an actor in Borat’s new movie, Borat Subsequent Moviefilm.…