rudy giuliani

  • GTFOH Trump Watch: Rudy Got Dat Rona

    For months, the president and his personal lawyer, Rudy Giuliani, have not only openly ignored public health and safety guidelines regarding the coronavirus, but they have both downplayed anything related to the highly contagious virus. Since early February, Rudy Giuliani has refused to wear a mask and has literally been out in public raw dogging…

  • GTFOH Trump Watch: You Get a Pardon! And You Get a Pardon!

    Donald Trump doesn’t know what crimes the people in his administration have committed, but he knows that they need to be pardoned. According to the New York Times, Trump has discussed whether his children, his slumlord son-in-law and his cousin Vinny need preemptive pardons. Trump is reportedly concerned that Biden’s Justice Department will seek retribution…

  • Pardon Me? Rudy Giuliani Reportedly Talked to President About Preemptive Pardon

    Pardon Me? Rudy Giuliani Reportedly Talked to President About Preemptive Pardon

    Rudy Giuliani is guilty. He’s so guilty that he just casually wears prison shoes in his everyday life. Rudy Giuliani is so guilty that he apparently has a full head of hair but he wears it bald because he thinks it makes him look prison tough. Giuliani is so guilty that he reportedly talked to…

  • GTFOH Trump Watch: The Trump and Rudy Show Hit the Road

    In what can only be described as a vaudevillian act of racist proportions, President Donald Trump and Rudy Giuliani, the dumber to the president’s dumb, are allegedly traveling to Pennsylvania on Wednesday for a meeting about election impropriety that didn’t happen. According to Bloomberg, Trump’s visit, which was reportedly confirmed by three separate sources, was…

  • GTFOH Trump: Thank You, Mr. President

    Thank you, President Trump for raising the sun this morning and keeping my car console fully stocked with throw-away masks. Thank you for the Supreme restock on the Air Force 1s, and thank you for Starbucks unlimited supply of chocolate croissants. And since we are thanking Trump for shit he had nothing to do with,…

  • GTFOH Trump Watch: Trump Released the Kraken. Turns Out the Kraken Was Sidney Powell

    GTFOH Trump Watch: Trump Released the Kraken. Turns Out the Kraken Was Sidney Powell

    Imagine this: You are a lawyer and your potential client wants to file lawsuits against multiple states alleging imaginary crimes. Literally, crimes no one can see. There is no proof, no receipts, no video, Maury isn’t there, Tekashi 6ix9ine isn’t there—literally nothing to prove your potential client’s case. But he’s got two things that work…

  • We See You, COVID-19. We See You

    We See You, COVID-19. We See You

    There are really only two kinds of people in this world: Those of us who wear masks, practice social distancing and stay inside as much as possible, and assholes. Or Republicans. Same thing, really. As such, Republican states and Republican operatives are basically breeding grounds for COVID-19. So it is with a heavy heart that…

  • GTFOH Trump Watch: Rudy Giuliani Is the Real Saul Goodman

    GTFOH Trump Watch: Rudy Giuliani Is the Real Saul Goodman

    The parallels are uncanny. Both men work for corrupt folks. Both wear really bad suits. Saul Goodman lived in the back of a nail salon and Rudy Giuliani held a presidential press conference outside of a landscaping business that was next to a sex shop. Both say crazy things; the only difference is Saul Goodman…

  • As Trump Refuses to Concede, His Campaign Displays Its Dwindling Relevancy in Parking Lot of a Random Landscaping Company in Philly

    Surprising no one, Donald Trump is refusing to accept the results of the election that has made him a one term president. After multiple networks called Pennsylvania for Joe Biden on Saturday, projecting that the former Vice President had secured 284 electoral votes—more than enough to win the Presidency—the Trump campaign sent out a statement…

  • Rudy Giuliani Caught With Hand in His Pants in New Borat Movie

    President Trump’s personal lawyer Rudy Giuliani is continuing his lifelong reputation of being dried-up elephant hawk-spit after he was caught on film reaching into his pants and touching his genitals while lying on a bed with a woman he believed was a journalist but was actually an actor in Borat’s new movie, Borat Subsequent Moviefilm.…