president donald trump
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Trump Supporter Wants You to Know He Isn't Just Worth a Measly $1.3 Billion, but $3.3 Billion
Spoiler Alert: La La La Laaaa, you don’t have to wait until Kanye West gets his money right anymore. Oh, and you definitely can’t tell him nothin’. According to Forbes, Kanye’s official net worth is $1.3 billion. Forbes calculated that his stake is worth $1.4 billion, but since it is “private [and] highly illiquid]” their…
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Stephanie Grisham Out as White House Press Secretary
The Trump administration has more employee turnover than a traveling carnival. How is it that y’all’s little “president,” Donald Trump, has had three different press secretaries since the start of his presidency? How is it that none of them can manage to stay in the job? What exactly is happening here? All of those questions…
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Celebrities Clearly Have Ample Access to COVID-19 Tests. What About Everyone Else?
Access to healthcare isn’t universal in this country, but access to the coronavirus certainly is. As I recently expressed when Idris Elba confirmed he had tested positive for COVID-19, the disease caused by the novel coronavirus strain, realizing celebrities weren’t immune to contracting the virus was a sobering reminder. However, as we heard celebrity after…
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Trump Claims the U.S. Shouldn’t Be Worried About the Coronavirus, So Why Was He Scared to Visit the CDC?
President Contaminated HawSpit—also known as the Human Racism Virus—keeps telling America that we’ve got nothing to fear when it comes to the coronavirus. In fact, he basically said that if blacks have their peppermints and ginger ale, they should be good. He also recommended that if white people use whatever they use to keep illness…
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Day 2: Impeachment Boogaloo
Have you ever been to a rave? I have and it’s exactly what you’d expect: loud music, lots of footwork, glow sticks and drugs. But what’s most impressive about a rave is how long they are and how sweaty everyone gets because the whole room gets hot because of all the non-stop dancing. The second…
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We Still Kneeling in 2020: Former Teacher of the Year Takes a Knee at Game Attended by Trump
I’ve always thought that if, on the fateful day when Colin Kaepernick chose to remain seated during the National Anthem in protest of police violence against black people, the media, zealous patriots, and angry white people, in general, would’ve just ignored him and not made such a big to-do about it, the NFL wouldn’t be…
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Trump Spent Crazy Money on an Ad to Run During Jay-Z’s Super Bowl
If the whiteballing of former quarterback Colin Kaepernick isn’t enough to boycott the NFL, how about Beyoncé’s husband crossing the picket lines to bring us a halftime show starring Jennifer Lopez and Shakira? The NFL is so racist and ridiculous that ESPN talking forehead Stephen A. Smith actually came back to his roots, arguing that…
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Mitch McConnell Is a Not-So-Silent but Deadly (Old) Fart
Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.), the human embodiment of a silent, funky-ass fart, thinks it’s pretty hilarious that the federal courts are being stacked with conservative judges and that he led the Senate in blocking President Obama from installing his own pick for the U.S. Supreme Court. McConnell is so pleased with himself, he…
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Donald Trump Makes Rare Public Appearance at World Series, Gets Hammered With ‘Lock Him Up,’ ‘Impeach Him’ Chants for His Trouble
Outside of campaign rallies filled to the brim with his fanatic worshippers or colleges packed with indoctrinated MAGAts, Donald Trump doesn’t really do public appearances. Maybe it’s because his tiny hands aren’t constructed for sturdy handshakes or perhaps it’s the fact that American citizens think he’s a bigger threat to world peace than either Vladimir…