Politics
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Trump Called Out Attorney General Jeff Sessions Because He Doesn’t Understand How This Works
The president is proof that a subhuman nonthinking white man can one day become the leader of the free world. Asparagus should feel inspired. Sure, it is nonverbal, and yes, it is merely a vegetable, but other than color, what’s the difference between asparagus and the president? Seriously, they both know about the same when…
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Could a Russian Call Girl Be the Straw That Breaks This Joe Camel-Colored President’s Back?
Nastya Rybka claims to have been the mistress of Russian billionaire Oleg Deripaska. Why should you care about this? Well, Rybka also claims to be able to connect all of the dots missing from the Russia investigation and President Donald J. Trump. Rybka was recently arrested and thrown into a Thai jail and now, most…
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Ben Carson Wants to Cut HUD Funding, but Not His Office-Redecoration Budget
While Ben Carson was busy refusing to answer Texas Democratic Rep. Al Green’s question about proposed Department of Housing and Urban Development budget cuts, Carson’s office was being redecorated with a brand-new $31,000 dining room set. The New York Times reports that just one month after a whistleblower complained about Carson’s wife, Candy, insisting that…
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Let the Probing Begin: Mueller Is All Up in Trump’s Russian Business Now
Shit just got real, ladies and gentlemen. We have been waiting to see where Robert Mueller’s probe was going to go as far as Donald Trump was concerned, and now we know. The special counsel is now looking into Trump’s business activities prior to his candidacy for the U.S. presidency. CNN reports that Mueller’s investigators…
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Vladimir TrumPutin to Run for President in 2020; Hopefully He’ll Be Impeached Before This Happens
Talking about jumping the gun: The president of KhakiPants, Kan., is reportedly running for president in 2020, but he may want to focus on staying in office in 2018. As it stands, the Kremlin walls of collusion with Russia are closing in, and who does the president tap to run his 2020 campaign? Brad Parscale.…
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Trump’s Latest Tweet Proves Russia Investigation Is Heating Up
One thing I’ve learned since President Donald Trump took office is that he isn’t even remotely sophisticated. A benefit that we—those of us who didn’t vote for Trump—have is that because he wears his emotions, as well as his presidential number, on his sleeve—we see you, 45! On Tuesday the president finished up his morning…
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The Gun Laws Moving Forward in the Florida Legislature Could Make Schools Especially Dangerous for Students of Color
On Monday, during an intense state Senate committee hearing on gun control, Florida lawmakers struck down a ban on assault rifles and approved an amendment allowing educators to carry firearms in school. Speaking on the floor during the session, Florida state Sen. Oscar Braynon told the room that “the talk” he gave his young boys…
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I Think Donald Trump and the NRA Just Solved All That Black Lives Matter Stuff
In the ongoing search for solutions to police brutality and state violence, black America has proposed some pretty outlandish ideas, including police accountability, better law enforcement training and—most radical of all—not hiring racist cops. But the recent debate about school safety and gun control has enlightened me to the fact that the previously mentioned ideas…
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Governor Wannabe Loves NRA Discounts So Much He’s Threatening One of His State’s Biggest Employers Over Them
In the fallout from the school shooting in Parkland, Fla., on Feb. 14, companies across the U.S. have been cutting ties with the National Rifle Association. On Saturday, both Delta Air Lines and its competitor United joined that growing list by announcing that they were ceasing discounts for NRA members. According to Raw Story, Delta…
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10 Presidents More Likely to Save You Than Trump
Today, much of America is still in shock or mourning over the deaths of 17 kids and staff at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Fla. Not President Donald Trump, though; he’s out stunting, bashing the armed school security officer for not running into the school to save the kids, and of course, making…