Politics
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Jeff Sessions Explaining How the Trump Administration Is Not Like Nazi Germany Is Peak Dumpster Fire
For the Trump administration, the bottom appears to be nonexistent. On the same day that Department of Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen gave an abhorrently insensitive defense of the Trump administration’s insistence on separating immigrant children from their loved ones at the U.S. border, U.S. Attorney General Jeff “King Keebler Klan” Sessions actually argued about…
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In 1 Press Conference, Kirstjen Nielsen Just Beat Out Sarah Sanders for Most Hated Person in Trump’s White House
President Mein Führer von SpankDat is excluded from the “most hated in the White House” game because he would win every time. Before Monday’s press conference with Department of Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen on the youth internment camps—which used to be big-box department stores or warehouses before becoming makeshift youth prisons—Sarah Huckabee Sanders, aka…
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Washington State Football Coach Tweets Fake Obama Video and Then Proves His Ignorance by Arguing About It
Mike Leach is the head coach of the Washington State football team. He also proved himself to be a fucking idiot after he tweeted out an obviously fake, conspiracy theorist video of former President Barack Obama under the guise of civil conversation: According to SB Nation, the video was spliced together from a European Union…
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Melania Trump Hates Seeing Immigrant Children Taken From Their Parents, but Not Enough to Tell Her Husband to End It
Melania Trump has a voice; she just chooses not to use it. In fact, when Ofdonald does speak, it’s usually to spout the lifted words from black America’s first-lady-until-further-notice, the great and incomparable Michelle Obama, or it’s to shout “Be best”—because that makes a lot of sense. So in a rare moment of unfiltered utterance…
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Ex-Cambridge Analytica Employees Are Working on Trump’s 2020 Campaign
Former employees of Cambridge Analytica, the political firm that went down in flames over how it acquired Facebook users’ data, is now working for President Donald Trump’s 2020 campaign, according to the Associated Press. Cambridge Analytica’s former head of product, Matt Oczkowski, leads Data Propria, the new firm that is quietly working with Trump’s 2020…
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Sen. Marco Rubio Has Thoughts on Kanye West, Pusha T and Drake … Random, Confusing Thoughts
Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.) posted a video of himself on his social media accounts talking about Kanye West’s new album. And it was pretty odd. “I don’t know anything about Kanye West’s new album other than I guess he premiered it out there in Wyoming and invited a bunch of people,” Rubio said. “He’s an…
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From Pimping to Politics: Nevada Brothel Owner Wins GOP Primary
You have probably heard of Dennis Hof before. His famous brothel, the Moonlite Bunny Ranch, was the subject of the HBO series Cathouse for two seasons. In 2015 he made headlines when former NBA star and Khloé Kardashian’s ex-husband, Lamar Odom, was found unconscious at his other brothel—Love Ranch—after a four-day, $75,000 stay. Now Hof,…
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If You’ve Done Nothing Wrong, Why Are You Allegedly Tampering With Witnesses?
Throughout the entire Mueller investigation, Donald Trump and his band of criminal cronies have claimed that the probe would not yield any fruit because none of them have done anything wrong. They have sung this refrain over and over again, even as evidence to the contrary comes to light. Well, sirs, if you haven’t done…
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A Brief History of People Using Romans 13 to Justify White Supremacy
Around A.D. 49, the Roman emperor Claudius expelled the Jews from the city of Rome. Historians argue about the exact date and the reasons, but we know that Claudius did not want them holding office or bringing in more immigrants. Instead, he wrote that the Jews (pdf) “should rest content with what belongs to them…
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Jeff Sessions Quotes the Bible to Justify Abusing Immigrants; God Laughs
If you hear somebody quote the Bible outside of church, it’s usually not a good sign. The occasional gasp of “Jesus Christ” or “Gaht damn” and various forms of “Jesus be a fence” are all right, but those aren’t really Bible quotes and could denote anything from having missed the bus to winning the daily…