news
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White Reporter Stole From Warriors Security and Nothing Happened Until the Players Found Out
A white reporter who covers the Golden State Warriors was caught on tape stealing a security staffer’s jacket. It isn’t debatable; it happened. Several news outlets have seen the tape and confirmed that Mike Shumann, a sports anchor for KGO-TV in San Francisco, picked up the jacket, which didn’t belong to him, and walked out…
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New Study Shows White People Don’t Like Living Near Black People; Captain Obvious Declines Comment
I often contemplate leaving my position as one of the world’s foremost wypipologists and pursuing a career in the lucrative field of studying shit black people already know. If I did switch careers and study No-Shit-Sherlockology, I think I’d excel at wasting time and money researching obvious subjects, like the CNN poll that found that…
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#StephonClark: Grieving Older Brother Charged With Misdemeanor Assault, Vandalism
Following his arrest Thursday in Sacramento, Calif., on suspicion of assault with a deadly weapon and making death threats, Stevante Clark was officially charged with misdemeanor assault and vandalism on Monday. The 25-year-old was also accused of making criminal threats and abusing a 911 line, according to the Associated Press. Although police were seeking to…
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#LifeComesAtYouFast: Florida Student at Center of Racist Promposal Will Not Attend Prom, Graduation
It’s all fun and games until you realize your racist behavior is actually not fun and games. A Riverview High School student in Sarasota County, Fla., is learning that the hard way after it was confirmed that he will not be attending any school activities—including prom and graduation—for the rest of the school year. The…
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A Conspiracy Theory as to Why HUD Wants to Raise Rent on Low-Income Housing
The more conspiracy sober-minded among us saw this coming a mile away—even if we had on Ben Carson’s thick glasses. This is only a theory, mind you, but let’s take a walk down the rabbit hole, shall we? Let’s suppose that when Carson, a black man who spent his career as a neurosurgeon, was named…
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Auntie Maxine Waters Issues Proposal to Trump: Quit so I Can Stop Calling for Your Impeachment
Rep. Maxine Waters of California, aka Auntie Maxine, knows what we know: Donald Trump never wanted to be president, and more important, he’s horrible at it. So on Tuesday, during a gala for the Time 100 in New York, Waters’ advice for Trump was this: “Please resign. So that I won’t have to keep up…
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Sorry, Not Sorry? Golf Club That Called Cops on Golfing Black Women Apologizes Then Changes Its Tune
A Pennsylvania golf club that called the police on five black female golfers on Saturday is defending itself after initially apologizing—somewhat—for making the women feel “uncomfortable.” Grandview Golf Club attempted to kick the women out of the club and called the police in order to help them do so after accusing the women of not…
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Leaked Meeting Audio Proves NFL Owners Worried About Appeasing White Fans, While Players Worried About Kaepernick, Black Lives
An October meeting between National Football League owners, players and league executives to discuss player protests and President Donald Trump’s bashing of the league because of players protests was supposed to be confidential. If Colin Kaepernick’s heavenly Afro didn’t already prove that God was OK with players protesting, the leaking of audio from said meeting…
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How Melania Trump’s Hand Has Become the Most Defiant Member of the Trump Administration
Make no mistake about it: Melania Trump is a deplorable. For whatever reason, she married the man who is single-handedly trying to destroy the rights of every nonwhite person in this country, so she’s complicit in all of the divisive hatred spewed from her husband’s prolapsed-anus mouth. Melania Trump’s hand, however, is Huey Newton. Melania…
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Michael Brown’s Mother, Lezley McSpadden, Says She Will Run for Ferguson, Mo., City Council: Report
In the years following the death of her son Michael Brown at the hands of Ferguson, Mo., police, Lezley McSpadden has completed her high school diploma, written a book, campaigned for social justice and joined Hillary Clinton on her 2016 bid for the presidency. Now McSpadden says she is considering running for Ferguson’s City Council.…