news
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Trump Is the Boyfriend Who Can’t Stop Talking About His Old Girlfriend
President Donald Trump hasn’t accepted that his relationship with Celebrity Apprentice is over. He can’t accept that Arnold Schwarzenegger is the new boss with a new catchphrase. He also can’t deal with the fact that his old flame has moved on without him even though his new bae, the presidency of the United States of…
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Trump Administration Modifies Sanctions With Our Play Cousin Russia
The Trump administration has loosened sanctions on America’s new play cousin on our fascist father’s side. That’s right—the Treasury Department announced Thursday a modification of sanctions put in place by the Obama administration after intelligence agencies determined that it was involved in cyberattacks to meddle with the U.S. elections in November, CNBC reports. And now…
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Underground Reveals Key Art for Season 2; Get a 1st Look at Harriet Tubman
With John Legend as its executive producer, WGN’s Underground series had an enormous first season, and next month’s season 2 premiere is sure to have fans talking. Especially when gun-toting Harriet Tubman, played by Aisha Hinds, makes her debut. The series released key art for the second season Wednesday, and as you can see, Hinds’…
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President Pee-Pee’s Supreme Court Pick Started a Fascism Club in High School
So it turns out that back when Judge Neil Gorsuch—you know, President Pee-Pee’s nominee for the Supreme Court—was just a high school student, he founded the Fascism Forever Club. First off, what a dork. Second, really?! The 49-year-old nerd started the club as a freshman at the über-expensive elite Georgetown Preparatory School near Washington, D.C.,…
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Beyoncé Enlisted Poet Warsan Shire to Write Her Pregnancy-Announcement Poem and Dropped a Photo Album
Beyoncé is going all out when it comes to announcing the upcoming birth of her twin babies. On the first day of Black History Month, the Houston singer broke the internet when she announced that she was pregnant with twins by posting a photo on Instagram; but this morning the Beyhive woke up not only…
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Donald Trump Hates Muslims (Old Kanye Voice)
Let’s recap: First Donald Trump’s administration issues a Muslim ban, which they don’t want called a ban, but the president and his lackey Sean “Spicy Facts” Spicer have both called it a ban. The ban stops people from seven predominantly Muslim countries from coming to the U.S. Now comes the news that the Department of…
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BET Orders Pilot Based on Nas’ Life
Fresh off the success of The New Edition Story, BET has announced yet another miniseries based on the life of one of the top five, dead or alive (OK, maybe top 10), rappers of all time. Of course, I’m talking about Nasir bin Olu Dara Jones. According to Deadline, BET has ordered a pilot for…
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2 GOP Senators Say They’ll Vote Against DeVos’ Confirmation as Education Secretary
As the ongoing saga of President Donald Trump’s Cabinet confirmations continues, two GOP senators have come forward and said they will vote against Betsy DeVos for education secretary, giving Senate Democrats two of the at least three votes they will need to block her appointment. Sens. Susan Collins (R-Maine) and Lisa Murkowski (R-Alaska) made their…
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Minn. Man Found Guilty of Shooting Black Lives Matter Activists During Protest
A Minnesota man charged with felony first-degree assault and riot charges in the November 2015 shooting of five people at a Black Lives Matter protest was convicted by a jury Wednesday. The Star-Tribune reports that the jury deliberated for seven hours before finding Allen “Lance” Scarsella, 24, guilty on all counts following two weeks of…
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Prison Siege: Del. Inmates Take Staff Members and Fellow Prisoners Hostage
A hostage situation is underway at the James T. Vaughn Correctional Center in Smyrna, Del., after an unknown number of inmates took control of a building Wednesday morning, injured one corrections officer and took four others, as well as fellow prisoners, captive. The News Journal reports that as of Wednesday night, there was little progress…