news
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Bill Maher Books Michael Eric Dyson in a Desperate Attempt to Get Re-Invited to the Cookout
After apologizing for casually tossing out the n-word on live TV, low-key racist and prominent liberal douchebag Bill Maher has replaced Sen. Al Franken with scholar Michael Eric Dyson on Friday’s episode of Real Time With Bill Maher. According to Variety, Maher announced earlier that Ice Cube will also appear on the show, but when…
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Trump Tweets Are Now ‘Official Statements’ From President; He May Live-Tweet During James Comey’s Hearing
White House press secretary Sean “Spicy Facts” Spicer is up to his old tricks again. After several months of claiming that the press spends too much time paying attention to President Twitter Fingas’ timeline, Spicy now claims that the president’s tweets are official statements from the president and should be treated as such. This about-face…
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Diamond Reynolds, Girlfriend of Philando Castile, Testifies That Fear for Her Own Life Prompted Her to Facebook Live Aftermath of Shooting
The girlfriend of Philando Castile, the black motorist who was killed by a Minnesota police officer during a traffic stop last year, said that she began livestreaming the widely seen aftermath of the shooting out of fear for her own life. According to the Associated Press via CBS, Diamond Reynolds cried as squad-car footage, her…
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Hey Charlottesville, Va.: The KKK Is Coming to Town!
Organizers announced Monday that the next stop on the much anticipated, sold-out White Supremacist World Tour will be the cozy college town of Charlottesville, Va. The Washington Post reports that the Loyal White Knights of the Ku Klux Klan have applied for a permit to hold a rally in Charlottesville on July 8. Another group…
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Fla. Man Who Fatally Shot 5 Former Co-Workers Planned Attack, Authorities Say
A Florida gunman who was recently fired from his workplace planned out his attack on his former co-workers, singling out five employees and fatally shooting them in the head before killing himself, authorities say. The shooter, identified as 45-year-old John Robert Neumann, took his own life upon hearing the sound of approaching sirens Monday, according…
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Missing 12-Year-Old Fla. Girl Found Dead; Homicide Suspected
The massive search for a missing 12-year-old girl in Pensacola, Fla., has ended in tragedy. The body of Naomi Jones was found by fishermen in a creek just a few miles away from her home. According to the Pensacola News Journal, Escambia County Sheriff David Morgan made the announcement around 5:30 p.m. Monday via Facebook Live.…
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Dallas Cowboy Quarterback Dak Prescott to Pursue Ph.D.
Dallas Cowboys quarterback Dak Prescott is a cerebral player. He was poised after being thrown into the fray when often injured starter Tony Romo went down in a preseason game. He not only took over the job as America’s Team QB in 2016, his rookie year, but he and beast running back Ezekiel Elliott led…
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Audio: LeBron James and Kevin Durant Rap Leaked, and It Doesn’t Sound Horrible
In 2011, Kevin Durant and LeBron James weren’t bitter rivals—in fact, I doubt they are now, but they are currently competing against each other for world domination in the NBA Finals—and they secretly collaborated on a rap that doesn’t appear to be half bad. They’re both huge rap fans; in fact, King James is rumored…
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Family of Autistic Man Whose Therapist Was Shot by North Miami Police Files Lawsuit Against City, Police Officers
The family of a man with autism, whose therapist was shot by a North Miami cop, is slapping the city of North Miami and four local police officers with a lawsuit, claiming that their loved one’s civil rights were violated in the aftermath of the shooting. According to CBS Miami, it was only on Monday,…
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Amazon to Offer Discounted Prime Memberships for People on Government Assistance
Amazon.com is giving more people access to its Amazon Prime membership by offering those on government assistance a hefty discount, Reuters reports. By entering their Electronic Benefits Transfer card information, customers will pay only $5.99 a month to use Prime, compared with the $10.99 a month paid by non-EBT-card customers. Amazon said that it created…