news
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Apparently There’s a White Supremacist Gym in Nashville, Tenn., and I Want to Go
Let’s open this post with a prayer: Dear white, blue-eyed, 7-pound, 4-ounce, swaddling, onesie-wearing baby Jesus. I know I haven’t talked to you in a while, but I come to you as humbly as I know how, with one simple request: I have been reading about the protests around the “alt-right” gym in Nashville, Tenn.,…
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I Know Trump Didn’t Just Donate His Salary to the Education Department After Proposing a $9,000,000,000 Cut
At this point, I wonder if President Donald von Douche Face even knows what’s in the budgets he proposes, or if Papa Bannon just hands them to him and tells him to initial here and here. I don’t think it’s too much to ask that the president of “people who love deer jerky” know that…
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8th-Grader Gets Football Scholarship Offers From University of Ala., Ole Miss and Miss. State
Jaheim Oatis just graduated from the seventh grade. Jaheim Oatis is 6 feet 4 inches tall and weighs 286 pounds. Jaheim Oatis is a baby and a beast who happens to be shaped like a grown man. And big football powerhouses want in. According to a tweet posted Friday by the 14-year-old, the University of…
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Who Is Da Real Lambo, and Why Is He Threatening LeBron James?
I like to think I keep my finger on the pulse. Currently, I’m eating Migos Rap Snacks while wearing a Supreme Obama anorak with matching pants and listening to French Montana’s “Unforgettable” featuring Swae Lee. So it’s safe to say I’m plugged in, but I don’t know who the hell Da Real Lambo is, so…
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Miss. Police Executing Arrest Warrant Go to Wrong House, Fatally Shoot Man: Report
Police in Southaven, Miss., apparently went to the wrong address to execute an arrest warrant and ended up fatally shooting a man in his own home Sunday, an arrest warrant issued by a Tate County, Miss., judge shows. According to WREG, Ismael Lopez was shot dead by police around 11:30 p.m. Sunday while standing in…
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Minneapolis to Expand Required Use of Bodycams After Shooting Death of Justine Damond
Justine Damond’s shooting death is continuing to cause widespread changes in the Minneapolis Police Department, with officials now saying that officers will be required to turn on their body cameras when responding to all calls, initiating traffic stops or taking other actions. According to the Associated Press, acting Police Chief Medaria Arradondo confirmed to reporters Wednesday…
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Hampton U Professor Wins $1,000,000 in Va. Scratch-Off Game
A Hampton University professor and dean just hit the jackpot in a scratch-off game worth a million bucks. Calvin Lowe, dean of Hampton’s School of Science, won the top prize of the Gold Bar Bonanza scratch-off, the first-ever million-dollar prize to be claimed. HBCU Buzz reports that after examining the ticket with a magnifying glass,…
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Trump Used Twitter to Announce Ban Against Transgender People Serving in the Military Because He’s an Asshole
The president of racist, xenophobic, homophobic and transphobic America just announced on social media that he will be banning all transgender people from serving in the military because he’s actively trying to unseat Adolf Hilter as the most hated person in history. Also, because Donald Trump is a dirtbag, he made the announcement, which will…
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‘KKK Hate Muslims, We Will Kill You’: Police Investigating Hateful Messages Left at Home of Muslim Family in NY
A Muslim family living in Nassau County, part of New York’s Long Island, discovered hateful, threatening messages in their mailbox on two separate occasions, leading police to launch a hate crime investigation. According to ABC7NY, the message read, “KKK Hate Muslims, we will kill you, Jesus loves you,” along with the image of a swastika…