news
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Report: Water Is Wet, Fire Is Hot—Oh, and Race Relations Got Worse After Trump’s Election
A fascinating new report has revealed some important information of which you may not be aware: If you touch a hot stove, you might get burned. Water is wet, fire is hot, and most Americans believe race relations in our country got worse after Donald Trump was elected. OK, so maybe the latest national survey…
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White Campus Security Guard Who Lied About a Black Man Shooting Him Unlikely to Do Jail Time
A white campus security guard who accidentally shot himself with his own gun and then lied to police and said a fictitious black man shot him will not face immediate jail time for his crime—and if he completes the court’s requirements, he may not face jail time at all. Brent P. Ahlers, 35, told a…
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Everything You Need to Know About the GOP’s Tax Heist but Were Afraid to Ask
Congress is poised to pass a piece of legislation that will amount to a $1.5 trillion tax hike for Americans who don’t have trust funds, silver spoons or monocles. No one knows what is in the final bill because Republicans have added more changes than Kim Kardashian’s plastic surgeon, but luckily The Root always has…
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5-Year-Old Mississippi Hero Calls 911, Helps Cops Capture the Grinch to Save Christmas for Us All
TyLon Pittman, who happens to be a 5-year-old hero, loves Christmas. In fact, he loves Christmas so much that he helped the cops capture the nefarious Grinch in order to save Christmas for us all (and Lord knows we need a little extra help this year). But no, seriously, in a story too cute to…
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WTF Is This Weird-Ass Video That Paul Ryan Posted?
Speaker of the House Paul Ryan wants to prove that he didn’t just become a horrible person overnight; rather, he was born a horrible person who has consistently pushed for cuts in programs for the poor to feed the rich by posting a weird press-clipping video of him being a shit heel since 1998. On…
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All I Want for Christmas Is This California Woman’s Weed Fortress of White Privilege
May God grant me the serenity to accept the news cycle I cannot change, the courage to call out the evil asshats I can, and the wisdom to know when to use a semicolon and when to just end the sentence (copy editors: I’m still working it). And Lord, if you’re in a generous mood,…
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Sprinter Justin Gatlin Fires Coach Amid Doping Allegations
Justin Gatlin, one of America’s fastest sprinters, has found himself dead smack at the center of a doping scandal in which he is accused of using performance-enhancing drugs, accusations that the world champion in the 100-meter strongly denies. “I am not using and have not used PED’s,” Gatlin wrote in a statement posted Tuesday to…
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Doug Jones Wants America to ‘Move On’ From Trump’s Sexual Assault Allegations, Says He May Vote Republican
Because Doug Jones was running against an accused pedophile for Alabama’s vacant Senate seat after Jeff Sessions decided that he would like to ruin the country from inside the White House, no one thoroughly vetted Jones’ politics. And can you blame anyone for not knowing anything about Jones, really? We all knew that he was…
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‘How Else Are You Going to Meet People?’ Tavis Smiley Defends His Sexual Relationships With Employees
You’d be hard-pressed to imagine a more cringeworthy pairing than accused sexual harasser Tavis Smiley and Fox host Tucker Carlson, but that’s exactly what viewers received Monday night as Smiley took to Carlson’s show to offer some kind of explanation for the multiple allegations of sexual misconduct of which PBS is accusing him. Spoiler alert:…
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Ex-University of Hartford Student Accused of Smearing Bodily Fluids on Black Roommate’s Belongings Will Avoid Hate Crime Charges
Brianna Brochu, the former University of Hartford student accused of harassing her roommate and contaminating the living space by smearing bodily fluids all over her roommate’s belongings, pleaded not guilty Monday to charges of breach of peace and criminal mischief. Brochu claimed that her roommate, Chennel “Jazzy Rowe,” who is black, was rude to her…