news
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Announcer Claims Russell Westbrook Is ‘Out of His Cotton-Picking Mind’
During Wednesday night’s NBA game between the Oklahoma City Thunder and the Memphis Grizzlies, an announcer took everyone watching back to slave days when he noted that the All-Star point guard was “out of his cotton-picking mind.” It was the season finale performance for Westbrook, who probably would’ve won another league MVP had James Harden…
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Seattle Seahawks Postpone Colin Kaepernick Workout Over the Former Quarterback’s Protest Stance: Report
Colin Kaepernick was set to work out with the Seattle Seahawks this week, but team officials decided to “postpone” (read: cancel) the trip after Kaepernick would not commit to stopping his protest during the national anthem against the killings of unarmed black men, women and children by police. According to ESPN, the Seahawks claim that…
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Parkland, Fla., Teacher Who Said He’d Carry Weapon on Campus if Allowed Left His Loaded Gun in Public Bathroom
Man, you really can’t make this stuff up, and if the stakes weren’t so high and the repercussions so tragic, it would be hilarious. But alas, here we are. According to the Miami Herald, the ridiculous scenario began Sunday in a men’s room at Broward County, Fla’s Deerfield Beach Pier, where a gun—a Glock 9…
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White North Carolina Candidate Who Once Attended Fish Fry Believes He Has Invitation to Cookout
Gary Shipman is a North Carolina politician vying for the Democratic nomination and the chance to challenge Republican Rep. Holly Grange for her seat in the North Carolina General Assembly. And if the surname Shipman doesn’t give it away, Gary is also a white man. A full-fledged, hard-bottom-wearing, finger-gun-shooting, nits, raisins and various other fruits-in-his-potato-salad…
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Russian TV Mockingly Prepares for Nuclear War With Real Nuclear-War Instructions
The news clip was supposed to be a joke about how Russia is gearing up for a nuclear war with the United States, except the potential for an actual nuclear war exists, since America is currently being run by a circus clown minus the shoes, and Russia is being run by a Mafia gangster who…
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Neighbor’s Father Called 911 After Hart Child Jumped out of Window and Begged for Help Months Before Fatal Car Crash
The timeline of disturbing allegations against the Harts, the family of eight whose car was driven off a California cliff last month, goes back a decade, and authorities are uncovering more details about the lengths the Hart children went to for help. The latest revelation concerns an incident that took place four months before the…
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8-Year-Old Girl Thwarts Attempted Kidnapping at US-Mexico Border
Two more minutes, and the children might have disappeared. Thankfully, because of her quick wits and courage, an 8-year-old girl was able to avert disaster, saving herself and her brother from a kidnapping at the U.S.-Mexico border. Malaiah Cole and her 3-year-old brother were in the back seat of their family car on Monday, waiting…
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Police Officer Who Shot and Killed Washington, DC, Motorcyclist Terrence Sterling Is Fighting to Keep His Job
It takes a certain type of gall to kill an unarmed man in a shooting that a police department internal review has already determined to be unjustified and still be determined to fight for your job. But I suppose anything is possible when you’re a white police officer, and so that is exactly what Washington,…
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Accused Parkland, Fla., School Shooter Wants to Donate Inheritance to Victims, Lawyers Say
After the shooting and killing of 17 people at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School, the accused gunman now wants to donate his six-figure inheritance to the victims to help “heal the community.” A lawyer for accused Parkland, Fla., gunman Nikolas Cruz said that any of the money that his client receives would go to the…
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Donald Trump Is the Great Value Frank Underwood; Michael Cohen Is His Doug Stamper
Riddle me this: Why would the FBI be searching the home, office and hotel room of Donald Trump attorney Michael Cohen for all the records related to the infamous Access Hollywood tape on which Trump was heard basically admitting that he thinks it’s OK to sexually assault women? And why, as reported by the New…