NBA
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Did Chris Paul Elbow Kevin Durant in the Butthole Last Night?
Below, because I know you’re curious, are the five worst places to be elbowed during a basketball game (in reverse order): 5. armpit (trust me) 4. nose 3. eye Tie: 2. nuts/stomach/ribs 1. butthole (presumably) Anyway, yes. Chris Paul definitely elbowed Kevin Durant in the butthole. Perhaps the first midgame butthole elbow I’ve ever seen.…
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Watch: Mother of Former Duke Player Wendell Carter Jr. Compares NCAA Basketball to Slavery and Prison
Kylia Carter, mother of former Duke basketball star Wendell Carter Jr., didn’t mince words during an emotional speech to the Knight Commission on Intercollegiate Athletics, in which she compared the current NCAA basketball system to slavery and prison. “When you remove all the bling and the bells and the sneakers and all that,” Carter said,…
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The Dumbest (and Most Common) Argument for Why Michael Jordan, Not LeBron James, Is the Greatest Basketball Player Ever
“Don’t be a prisoner of the moment!” said the person on the internet, who is 36 years old, about the reaction to LeBron James’ theatrics against the Toronto Raptors on Saturday. And against the Raptors the game before that. And against the Raptors the game before that. And against the Indiana Pacers the series before…
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White Reporter Stole From Warriors Security and Nothing Happened Until the Players Found Out
A white reporter who covers the Golden State Warriors was caught on tape stealing a security staffer’s jacket. It isn’t debatable; it happened. Several news outlets have seen the tape and confirmed that Mike Shumann, a sports anchor for KGO-TV in San Francisco, picked up the jacket, which didn’t belong to him, and walked out…
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Meek Mill Celebrates Release From Prison With 76ers Playoff Game
So far it seems that Meek Mill is enjoying his newfound freedom. Just two hours after being officially released from prison as he appeals decade-old gun and drug convictions, the rapper attended Game 5 of the 76ers playoff series against the Miami Heat with his son. The rapper, whose real name is Robert Rihmeek Williams,…
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WNBA Star Candace Parker Has to Pay Her NBA-Flameout Ex-Husband $400,000 in Alimony: Report
Candace Parker is a legit WNBA star with endorsement deals and a name that rings outside of WNBA circles. Her ex-husband, Shelden Williams, was an NBA bust who basically rode the bench of several NBA teams for six years before the basketball gods realized that the NBA was no place for Shelden Williams. So now,…
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Does Tristan Thompson Have More Side Chicks or Post Moves? (An Investigation)
Here are the facts. Tristan Thompson plays for the Cleveland Cavaliers. At the moment, he is the third-best Canadian in the NBA, a fact that doesn’t mean anything, but somehow also means everything. He is also a new dad today (congrats!) after his girlfriend Khloé Kardashian gave birth to a baby girl. This is Kardashian’s…
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LeBron James Has a Biomechanist. Do You Have One? I Don’t
LeBron James is a freak of nature. Sure, Giannis Antetokounmpo’s (I’m not ashamed to admit I had to look up how to spell his name, gave up trying to get it right, and copied and pasted it) nickname is the Freak, but LeBron James? Bruh. It makes no sense that he’s able to play at…
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Dallas Mavericks Investigating Sexual-Misconduct Allegations After Bombshell Report
The Dallas Mavericks have launched an independent investigation after a report by Sports Illustrated on Tuesday alleged that the NBA franchise maintained a “corrosive workplace culture” where women were routinely sexually harassed by male co-workers. The SI report focuses primarily on the conduct of former team President and CEO Terdema Ussery, who reportedly had a…
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LaVar Ball Wants All His Children on the Same NBA Team and Even Plans to Hold Them Out if That Can’t Happen
I cannot figure out if LaVar Ball, the enigmatic father of three basketball prodigies, is a genius using common man’s-speak or, really just a common man speaking nonsense. It looks as if the senior-most Ball, who couldn’t keep himself out of his children’s high school, college or professional careers, is now working to get them…