nba finals
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Toronto Raptors President Masai Ujiri Sued for Assaulting Police Officer, Leaving Him Permanently Disabled…But I Call Bullshit
In the immediate aftermath of his first championship as an NBA executive, Toronto Raptors President of Basketball Operations Masai Ujiri did what any of us would do: He turned up. Unfortunately, prior to doing so, he somehow got involved in a scuffle with a police officer, and now the 2013 NBA Executive of the Year…
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NBA Star Kawhi Leonard’s Sister Charged With Murder of 84-Year-Old Woman at California Casino
The sister of NBA superstar Kawhi Leonard has been charged with murder in the death of an 84-year-old woman following a robbery at a casino near Temecula, Calif. According to the Riverside, Calif., Press-Enterprise, surveillance camera footage from Aug. 31 shows Leonard’s sister, Kimesha Monae Williams, 35, and Candace Tai Townsel, 39, following Afaf Anis…
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4 Hurt in Shooting at Toronto Raptors NBA Championship Celebration; Police Arrest 3
At least four people were hurt and panic ensued when shots rang out Monday during the Toronto Raptors’ victory parade to celebrate their first-ever NBA Championship title. According to USA Today, Toronto police said three people were arrested and authorities recovered two guns in the aftermath of the violence that marred what had been a…
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Toronto Raptors President Masai Ujiri Under Investigation for Allegedly Hitting Sheriff’s Deputy After Championship Win
Did Toronto Raptors President Masai Ujiri get a little too carried away trying to celebrate with his team after they won their first NBA Championship Thursday night—or did an Alameda County sheriff’s deputy go a little too far in policing the arena? Those are questions following news that Ujiri is under investigation on suspicion of…
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Welp. The Golden State Warriors Were Fun While It Lasted
The Golden State Warriors are fucked. Wait, that was rude of me. Let me congratulate Drake the Toronto Raptors for their very first, hard-fought NBA Championship in the history of their franchise. I’ll keep it classy and pretend your fans didn’t cheer when Kevin Durant tore his Achilles during Game 5. But no, really. The…
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Lord Jesus, God in Heaven, Please Don't Let Kevin Durant Have a Torn Achilles
This is not how the Golden State Warriors dynasty was supposed to end. After spending the past five seasons bullying the league with otherworldly ball movement, immaculate execution and a top-heavy roster featuring three of the greatest scorers in the history of the league, the Warriors’ third NBA championship in a row—something so fucking hard…
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The Real ‘MVP’: Barack Obama Steals Drake’s Thunder at Game 2 of the NBA Finals
While Drake has made himself the talk of this year’s NBA Finals with all his trash talk on behalf of his beloved Toronto Raptors, the rapture during Sunday night’s Game 2 was about a much bigger player: Barack Obama. The beloved forever former president garnered cheers from the Toronto crowd of “MVP! MVP!” when his…
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Dear NBA, If You're Reading This It's Too Late to Stop Drake
“I got enemies, got a lot of enemies; Got a lot of people tryna drain me of my energy; They tryna take the waaaaaaaave from a nigga; Fuckin’ with the kid, and pray for your nigga” — Drake, “Energy” Drake is a full-fledged supervillain. Despite the NBA’s best efforts to wave kryptonite in his face…
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LeBron James Is Finally Free From Cleveland and It Couldn’t Have Happened to a Nicer City
It all started with a phone call. “Hey, if I can get you a Cavs ticket for Friday, would you come?” It was one of my former students, offering me a chance to sit in the Quicken Loans Arena’s executive suites, eat free chicken wings and hobnob with some high-rolling political-type folks. This just another…
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Dear UPS: You Ain’t Got to Lie, Craig
One of my least favorite scams is the one that fast-food restaurants do at drive-thrus to make it look like orders are being made and provided to customers in a timely fashion. You know the one: You order and get to the pay window, only to be told to stay there until they tell you…