melania trump
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Melania Trump Moves Into the White House; Hopefully She Can Bring the Old Man Home With Her
Melania Trump has the distinction of being the first first lady who’s posed before the world with her hand over her naked vagina. President Donald Trump is the first president to be caught on tape saying he grabs women “by the pussy.” I see why they love each other. This weekend, Trump’s wife stopped costing…
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Day 2: Melania Trump Still Hates Her Husband and Doesn’t Want to Hold His Tiny Hand
Melania Trump thought she was signing up to marry a wealthy old man, and in turn, she was willing to act as if she at least liked him. But Donald Trump’s ego got the best of him and he decided to run for president, and since Russia’s given him the White House, Melania now finds…
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Melania Trump Hates Her Husband and She’s Becoming Our Spirit Animal
Melania Trump is becoming the other America’s spirit animal, and by “other America,” I mean the America with a full set of teeth that doesn’t own a pickup truck or believe that the Confederate flag is a symbol of America’s pride. You know, the America that didn’t vote for this dirtbag. It appears not only…
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The Top 5 Moments From the White House Easter Egg Roll Dumpster Fire
With a face as bright as the orange sky of an Easter sunrise service, Donald Trump and the rest of the new-millennium Munsters currently occupying 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue hosted their first White House Easter Egg Roll on Monday on the South Lawn of what they now refer to as “Mar-a-Lago North.” The 139-year-old celebration of…
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I'm Suffering From "Every Time I Hear 'First Lady' I Think 'Michelle Obama' Even Though She Aint It Anymore" Syndrome
I’ve accepted, grudgingly, that empty Miracle Whip jar filled with dead maggots with sentience Donald Trump is President of the United States. It’s a reality both horrifying (for obvious reasons) and validating, as his ascent and the support that allowed him to ascend is the best possible verification that America desperately wants to be Crash but is…
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Don’t Save Melania Trump; She Don’t Wanna Be Saved
When it comes to Melania Trump, multiple things can be true if you try really, really hard not to operate at the same intellectual level as her dimwitted husband. Like, even if Slovenia’s new favorite daughter chose to pose nude back in her modeling days, it was wrong for the New York Post to publish…
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Ala. Cop Fired After Facebook Posts Reference Slavery, Michelle Obama
A Talladega, Ala., police officer was fired after racist posts, apparently from his Facebook page, surfaced on social media earlier this week, Talladega City Manager Patrick Bryant confirmed earlier this week, the Daily Home reports. Another one bites the dust. Officer Joel Husk reportedly shared posts from the Last American Patriots and from Donald Trump,…
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W.Va. Officials Under Fire After Referring to Michelle Obama as an 'Ape in Heels'
Two West Virginia officials are facing a backlash after exchanging messages mocking Michelle Obama and referring to the first lady as “an ape in heels,” WSAZ reports. According to the report, following the results of last Tuesday’s presidential election, Pamela Taylor—a director at the Clay County Development Corp., a nonprofit funded by state and federal…
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Donald Trump Calls President Barack Obama 'a Very Good Man' at White House Meeting
Despite previous tense clashes and years during which Donald Trump questioned President Barack Obama’s American heritage, the president-elect called the president “a very good man” in Thursday’s much-anticipated White House meeting. Trump said that he had “great respect” for Obama, saying that the two met for about an hour and a half in a meeting…