marco rubio
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Rep. Val Demings Will Challenge Marco Rubio for His Senate Seat in 2022
Rep. Val Demings (D-Fla.) is not coming to play games. She was reportedly considered to be Joe Biden’s running mate, has a history of being a no-nonsense straight shooter, and the people of Florida—the ones who aren’t on meth or saving up their coins to afford a Mar-a-Lago membership—love her. So it makes sense that…
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Florida Sen. Rick Scott to Governors: Don’t Accept Stimulus Money
It’s said that on the ninth day of creation, God got hungry and because it was late, the only thing open was a 7-Eleven, and God was forced to eat day-old taquitos, which made him vomit and thus, Florida was born. Florida, the ass pimple of America, continues to remind the world that they love…
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‘Little Marco’ Trends on Twitter After Former Trump Nemesis Is All Smiles During the President’s Reelection Rally
Let’s all think back to early 2016: Trump wasn’t president and Hillary Clinton was poised to become the first woman to call all the shots. Marco Rubio and then-regular-New-York-pain-in-the-ass Donald Trump were engaged in a full-on bitchy barb of insults. From education to sweating to Marco’s tiny stature to Trump’s tiny hands and implied dick…
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Senator Marco Rubio Is Salty at Salt Bae
The president of the United States is a liar who claims to be a billionaire and rode that cache all the way to a reality show in which washed-up, Z-list celebrities compete for a chance not to be on the end of his catchphrase. Because this is the world that we live in, earlier this…
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Watch Alex Jones And Sen. Marco Rubio Almost Get Into A Fight
In what might be the weirdest dustup of 2018, Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Tex.) and resident nutjob Alex Jones (W-hite) engaged in a full-on “Hold me back” moment that included name-calling and vague threats of violence. According to the USA Today, Rubio was outside of a hearing on social media when Jones decided he was going…
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5 Journalists Were Killed and Sen. Marco Rubio Is More Concerned About Their Colleague Dropping the F-Bomb
Every time Sen. Marco Rubio opens his mouth or takes his hands from around the president’s pants leg to send out a tweet, he inches closer to front-runner in the race for the most horrible Republican. Less than 24 hours after five of her colleagues were gunned down in a heartless act of senseless violence,…
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Sen. Marco Rubio Has Thoughts on Kanye West, Pusha T and Drake … Random, Confusing Thoughts
Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.) posted a video of himself on his social media accounts talking about Kanye West’s new album. And it was pretty odd. “I don’t know anything about Kanye West’s new album other than I guess he premiered it out there in Wyoming and invited a bunch of people,” Rubio said. “He’s an…
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Little Marco Rubio Goes In for the Hug, and Ivanka Trump Isn’t Here for It
They were supposed to be meeting to work on a bill about paid family leave; good thing they were both acting like kids. Republican Florida Sen. Little Marco Rubio and Ivanka “Lil’ Trumpet” Trump met at the Capitol in Washington, D.C., on Tuesday morning. See, Lil’ Trumpet is big on being an advocate for white…
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Sen. Marco Rubio Calls Out Snoop Dogg for ‘Klump’ Assassination
The video for Canadian group BadBadNotGood’s song “Lavender,” featuring Snoop Dogg and Kaytranada, is catching criticism after Snoop Dogg assassinated a clownlike Trump character. In the Suicide Squad-like video, directed by Jesse Wellens and James DeFina, Michael Rapaport stars as a clown (not to be confused with real life) who gets shot by a clown…