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Why I Have No Interest In Seeing Straight Outta Compton
Straight Outta Compton — the critically acclaimed depiction of N.W.A.’s origin — has been a commercial success, breaking box office records as it’s on pace to be the highest-grossing music biopic ever. Millions have seen it in the theater, and millions more undoubtedly will. I have not been (and will not be) one of them. Since…
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10 Things Aside From The Police That Will Definitely Kill You If You're Black
The danger of being a Black person in the vicinity of a police officer is well-documented, as everything from “driving while Black” to “being Black while Black” has been proven to be an arrestable and often even fatal offense. But law enforcement isn’t the only thing specifically dangerous to us. 1. Shitty Potato Salad Should just be…
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The 10 Best Insults I Got From People Who Just Didn't "Get" The Russell Wilson "Simp" Piece
Monday afternoon, I wrote a piece poking fun at the hoteps who believe Russell Wilson is a “sucker” for dating Ciara and that a woman like Ciara is somehow undateable because she’s a single mother. Instead of being direct, however, I employed a bit of satire; giving it an outrageously over-the-top title (“Five Reasons Why…
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Five Reasons Why Russell Wilson Is The Worst Kind Of Sucker-Ass Simp-Ass Sucker
1. He’s dating someone new, and is actually bringing her name up in interviews and taking her to events with him, like he’s actually happy to be with her and proud of her or something. Who the hell does that? Besides a sucker-ass simp-ass simp-ass sucker? 2. He’s dating someone who has apparently dated other…
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Where Does Meek Mill's "Wanna Know" Place On The "Greatest Letdowns Of All-Time" Scale?
Meek Mill seems poised to put a new spin on “in with a bang, out with a whimper.” Except by “bang” it’s him sounding “like he’s ordering McDonalds from the backseat” (ht Tristan) and by “whimper” it’s “releasing a response diss so shitty even actual pieces of shit were like “Damn. That stinks.” It was, to…
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10 Thoughts About Drake Vs. Meek Mill As We Patiently Wait For Meek To Drop A Dis Record
1. Not only is Drake winning right now, Meek Mill is actively losing. “Baby lotion soft”? That’s the best you have? Come on Meek. These niggas churn out trash songs at an alarmingly fast clip, but we’re four days later and the best we have is some tweets from Meek and words on stage at…
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10 Things You Should Totally, Definitely, Absolutely Say To A Writer
#Tenthingsnottosaytoawriter has been trending all day, and has produced some gems, including… …and… But, what do writing-ass people actually want to hear? Good question. 1. “Yeah, we definitely pay writers. Wouldn’t dare ask you to work for free or for “recognition” or some bullshit like that.” 2. “We have direct deposit.” 3. “We received and processed your…
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10 Black Men Who Could Use Your Irrational Unconditional Support Instead Of Bill Cosby
I feel you, man. I really do. You stayed on the Bill Cosby bandwagon as long as you possibly could — refusing to allow America to lynch an iconic Black man — but the ride just got too bumpy. The wheels flew off, the steering wheel broke, the seat belts got recalled, and the rotors did…
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7 Great Reasons To Be A Petty Motherfucker
Between Meek Mill, Cornel West, and general niggadry everywhere, pettiness is having the best week ever. Oh, and me too. Let me tell you how. So recently on Twitter, somebody that I know but barely interact with was RTd into my timeline. That’s retweeted for you old people. Which means somebody tweeted something, and somebody…
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Things Actively Attempting To Murder Your Marriage, Ranked
A Million Ways to Die in the West is a terrible, terrible movie. Admittedly, there are some chuckle-worthy parts. But even saying that is misleading, because you’re hit with so many gags and jokes per minute that a few of them are bound to land. It’s humor diarrhea. From the ass of a mid-air hawk. Which is unfortunate,…
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