lists
-
The 10 Saltiest, Pettiest Possible Reactions To Serena Losing In The U.S. Open Semifinals
If you’re as salty as I am about Serena losing today, you’re probably looking for appropriately petty things to say to fully express your level of salt. Fortunately, I’ve taken the liberty of creating some. You’re welcome. 1. “If you’re not first, you’re last. So it don’t even matter if this chick beat Serena, cause if…
By
Published
-
Types Of Pork, Ranked
Every Labor Day weekend in Pittsburgh, a rib festival (aptly named “The Rib Fest”) takes place outside of Heinz Field. Dozens of award-winning swine-selling companies set up storefronts and sell their best ribs, pulled pork sandwiches, sausages, briskets, and heart disease. Naturally, as a pork coisennessuor, I spent a decent amount of time there this…
By
Published
-
-
10 Things You Need To Know About The Black Barbershop
1. Breaking up with a barber is the most traumatic break-up a Black man will ever experience. One, because barber relationships usually last much longer than the half-assed, Tinder-generated exchange of Netflix passwords and seminal fluids you people call “relationships.” But also because the usual break-up excuses — “It’s not you, it’s me” and “I’m…
By
Published
-
Things Your Bitch Ass Better Not Do At A Labor Day Cookout
Labor Day is almost here. Which means the summer is officially over. Which sucks. Because it felt like we had three weeks of summer this year. Like, you remember how it took Meek Mill an entire month to write and release a wack diss track for Drake? That’s how long summer felt. The span of…
By
Published
-
10 Surefire Ways To Catch The Black Man Of Your Dreams
As many of you know, VSB started off as a place where Panama and I volunteered our tongue-in-cheek observations about dating, relationships, and sex. Our content has evolved since then, but I still occasionally get asked by people (and by “people” I mean “women at game nights”) to provide some dating and relationship-related insight, and most of it…
By
Published
-
If #BlackLivesMatter Is A Hate Group, So Are A Few Others
In case you haven’t heard, Elizabeth Hasselbeck, that level-headed co-host of Fox & Friends and formerly of The View, suggested that the #BlackLivesMatter movement be classified as a hate group as video of protesters in St. Paul, Minnesota, used anti-police rhetoric loudly and proudly. This was in the wake of the recent, tragic shooting of a…
Published
-
Nicki Minaj's "Pastor Lydia" Is The Worst Pastor Ever, And More Takeaways From The 2015 VMAs
1. It is 8:12 am. Which means it’s been less than nine hours since I watched the VMAs. In that time span I ate (approximately) seven lukewarm tator tots, drank two glasses of water, slept for six hours, walked my dog, and took The Wife Person™ to work. I also tried (and failed) to remember any…
By
Published
-
Three Most Common Comments From People Very Mad About Any Straight Outta Compton Criticism
Last week, I wrote a piece explaining why I wasn’t particularly interested in seeing Straight Outta Compton. Most of the feedback was positive. And by “positive” I don’t mean that most agreed with my stance. I don’t expect (or even want) that to happen. Just that some people agreed, and some people disagreed but were able to articulate…
By
Published
-
How To Be A White Person In A Room Full Of Black People
Maybe you were just invited to your Black co-worker’s Delta Sigma Theta hot dog eating contest. Or perhaps your Black boyfriend of six years finally gathered the nerve to introduce you to his parents. Or maybe you just got a new job and have to relocate…to D.C.. Or Atlanta. Or Detroit. Or perhaps you just won…
By
Published