life
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Hey You! You're Pretty Fucking Awesome!
I’m feeling inspired today. So let’s inspire. But first, question time: do you actually know how fucking awesome you are? Real question. Do you? If you don’t. I’m here to tell you. Before we get into how fucking awesome you are, allow me to tell you how awesome I am. Just consider this your complimentary…
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On Getting Older And Being in Weddings
In a few months, I’m going to be the best man in one of my best friend’s weddings. This means that I’m taking on the responsibility for the bachelor party and making sure that stuff gets done on the groomsmen end in terms of tuxedo fittings, hotel arrangements, etc. This is a new experience for…
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I Bought A Mountain Dew. Here's How It Happened. Don't Buy Mountain Dew.
You know how some people make bad decisions constantly? I’m one of those people. Sometimes I get away scott free with my middle finger to the law, nigga grippin’ my balls. Other times I pay tremendously. Like, tremendously tremendously. And you know I mean it because I wrote tremendously twice and italicized the first one.…
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Since My Biological Didn't Bother
Last year, my father sent me a “Happy Father’s Day” text message. It might have been the funniest, yet most ironic text message that I’ve ever received. I didn’t reply. I couldn’t think of an adequate response; that “Eat a dick” response was waiting in the draft folder though. If it’s not obvious by now,…