lavar ball
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Donald Trump Just Can’t Get Off LaVar’s Balls
President ChiChi von FruitSnacks is up to his old WWE tactics again: He spent his presidential morning on the White House toilet tweeting his thoughts about an African-American father who doesn’t fuck with him. Look at that “IT WAS ME!” in all caps. Looks like the president is really butt-hurt over this whole thing. President…
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‘Disrespectful’ and More Things White People Say When They Really Want to Call Black People the N-Word but Can’t
Like the devil—who I’ve heard is a 3-handicap golfer and makes a killer sangria—Donald Trump is not without his good qualities. He’s a great, Zoolander-level squinter. Perhaps one of the world’s all-time great squinters. He’s apparently amazing at purchasing and eating KFC. It’s not a game with Trump’s Chicken Littles combo-eating game. When Donald Trump…
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LaVar Ball vs. Donald Trump: The Epic CNN Smackdown
If there is ever a lesson to be learned about LaVar Ball, it is that the man has powered up on his smack-talk game, and you will never be able to best him at it, even if you bring him on your CNN news show in an attempt to do so. Unfortunately, CNN host Chris…
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Trump Wants Marshawn Lynch Suspended and LaVar Ball’s Middle Child Thrown in Jail Because He’s Messy
President Ludwig von FuckFace will not stop wading in the petty pool. In fact, if we wanted a messy president who lives for drama, then the right person is in office. Over the weekend, President ShitBag von LittleFingers got all butt-hurt after LaVar Ball refused to acknowledge the president’s role in assisting in the release…
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LaVar Ball Just Won
Sentient Mr. Potato Head with Larry David-brand Asperger’s LaVar Ball successfully trolled the world’s biggest troll into . . . 1. Saying LaVar Ball’s name. 2. Saying his middle son’s name. 3. Placing them both smack dab in the middle of an international incident. 4. Making LaVar Ball’s name known on an international level. 5.…
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Judge of Characters: Trump Helps Black People Now?
To hear the authorities tell it, UCLA basketball players LiAngelo Ball, Jalen Hill and Cody Riley all decided that stealing from a store while their team was in China was the best idea ever, and they were subsequently caught, arrested and faced 10 years in a Chinese prison. But then the impossible happened! Your president,…
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LiAngelo Ball, 2 Other UCLA Players Out on Bail After Arrest in China, but Will Not Play in Season-Opening Game
LiAngelo Ball, the younger brother of the Los Angeles Lakers’ Lonzo Ball, and two other UCLA men’s basketball players were released on bail early Wednesday morning after being arrested in Hangzhou, China, on shoplifting charges. According to ESPN, the three players, including freshman team members Cody Riley and Jalen Hill, are accused of stealing from…
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USA Today Declares Devoted Father LaVar Ball ‘Worst Sports Parent Ever’
I should begin this article by comparing LaVar Ball to my father, but I can’t because … I don’t know that dude. I definitely am not as familiar with LaVar Ball as apparently USA Today’s Nancy Armour is. Armour, in response to Ball’s announcement that he was switching his son LaMelo’s high school, declared Ball…
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Watch: LaVar Ball and the Influence of Black Sports Dads
Whether you like LaVar Ball or hate him, at the end of the day, the proof is in the pudding: His son Lonzo Ball can play. It’s refreshing to see a black man speak so fearlessly and confidently about his son’s abilities, but now it’s time to let his son shine. We predict that Lonzo…
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LaVar Ball May Have Ruined Youngest Son’s NCAA Career With Signature Shoe: ‘Who Cares? If He Can’t Play, Then He Can’t Play’
LaMelo Ball is the youngest Ball brother, and now, at just 16 years old, he is the first high school player to have his own signature shoe. And, surely, the NCAA will have something to say about this, which, of course, must trouble the outlandish patriarch of the Ball clan. Doesn’t it? “We’ll worry about…