kevin durant
-
Did Chris Paul Elbow Kevin Durant in the Butthole Last Night?
Below, because I know you’re curious, are the five worst places to be elbowed during a basketball game (in reverse order): 5. armpit (trust me) 4. nose 3. eye Tie: 2. nuts/stomach/ribs 1. butthole (presumably) Anyway, yes. Chris Paul definitely elbowed Kevin Durant in the butthole. Perhaps the first midgame butthole elbow I’ve ever seen.…
-
Golden State Warriors Won’t Visit White House, Instead They’ll Visit With Kids From Kevin Durant’s Old Neighborhood
When the White House was home to a respectable family, it was an honor for national sports champions to visit, but since the White House has become the Kremlin East and serves as a home to President Lil’ Putin and his captive Melania, the Golden State Warriors won’t be visiting when they come to Washington,…
-
Drake Apparently Has Kevin Durant and Steph Curry Tattoos, Which Might Be the Most Lightskinneded Thing Anyone Has Ever Done
Of course, there will be people who will read the title of this piece and immediately be compelled to ask three questions that are only tangentially related to Drake, the subject of said piece: Wait, there’s such a thing as a “lightskinneded thing”? What does “lightskinneded” even mean in this context? Isn’t that offensive? (There…
-
Kevin Durant Is Black AF
Blackness is not a monolith. If you scroll through any of the comments sections beneath the articles written by me and other writers at The Root criticizing celebrities for tap-dancing on the knife edge that separates unapologetic blackness from fence straddlers who trade on their perceived black swagger while simultaneously stepping and fetching in their…
-
Either Kevin Durant Refers to Himself in 3rd Person, or He Has Another Twitter Account He Uses to Defend Himself
In high school, I took a Spanish class in which I learned that I would be called “Esteban” instead of Stephen. I took to calling myself Esteban the rest of the school year and also talked about myself in the third person: “Esteban doesn’t eat personal pan pizza.” “Esteban has entered the building.” So I…
-
Does Kevin Durant Have a Secret Clapback Instagram Account?
We all have that one friend who just can’t let shit go. You know the one I’m talking about. The homeboy who thinks someone stepping on his shoe is a plot by his rivals to ruin his new Jordans. The homegirl who thinks the waiter has a vendetta against her because one of her mozzarella…
-
Kevin Durant on Possible White House Invite: Is Trump Still in Office? Nah, I’m Good (I’m Paraphrasing a Bit)
If the White Nationalist House of Pancakes plans on inviting the championship Golden State Warriors to come and see where evil lives, then they can skip the e-vite for Kevin Durant because he ain’t going. “Nah, I won’t do that,” Durant said Thursday of a potential visit, according to ESPN’s Chris Haynes. “I don’t respect…
-
Report: Kevin Durant Will Decline Player Option, Re-Sign With Golden State Warriors
Kevin Durant is reportedly planning to turn down his player option with the Golden State Warriors for the 2017-2018 season and become an unrestricted free agent on July 1, but he will still sign and stay on with the team with whom he won his first-ever NBA championship. Durant, who was the 2017 NBA Finals…
-
Neither Kevin Durant Nor Lebron "Ruined" The NBA; Irrational Stans Of Michael Jordan Did
Let’s start at ruin. Last night, the Golden State Warriors beat the Cleveland Cavaliers to win the NBA Finals; culminating a near-perfect playoff run and historic regular season where they established themselves as the best offense in NBA history. And there seems to be nothing to suggest they won’t do the same thing next year.…
-
Will NBA Champion Golden State Warriors Visit the White House?
Updated Tuesday, June 13, 2017, 1:20 p.m. EDT: The Golden State Warriors have not made an official decision about whether or not they will be going to Donald Trump’s White House. According to a statement issued by the organization, the newly crowned NBA champs noted that they haven’t even received an invitation from the White…