I’m sitting here grossing myself out and trying to figure out if I have ever seen a picture that shows a close-up shot of U.S. Attorney General Jeff Sessions’ crotch. The reason I’m wondering if I have seen a picture of his crotch is that I have no doubt he has cajones the size of 10-pound bowling balls after this…
On Monday, U.S. Attorney General Jeff Sessions, the biggest elf to ever do it, just created a “religious liberty task force,” which sounds like a villainous superhero group that gets real close to you and asks if you know Jesus.
Every story surrounding Attorney General Jeff “King Keebler” Sessions is an attempt to move the country further away from the fact that the man runs an operation that MAKES COOKIES IN A FUCKING TREE!
My next-door neighbor ran over a snake once, and that snake stayed in the middle of the street until it finally became a part of the road. For months I walked past this snake wondering if there was someone I could call about coming to pick it up. In the days of passing by said dead snake, my questions became more…
The Associated Press is reporting that Secretary of Homeland Security Kirstjen Nielsen has drafted an executive action that would end the Trump administration’s policy of separating immigrant families caught crossing the border.
America tried everything to keep the migrants out. Men and women were arrested at the border. Children were separated from parents. People got thrown in jail for violating random rules that nobody knew or understood. Kids went missing and the white nationalist president blamed his political opponents and the victims…
For the Trump administration, the bottom appears to be nonexistent. On the same day that Department of Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen gave an abhorrently insensitive defense of the Trump administration’s insistence on separating immigrant children from their loved ones at the U.S. border, U.S. Attorney…
Around A.D. 49, the Roman emperor Claudius expelled the Jews from the city of Rome. Historians argue about the exact date and the reasons, but we know that Claudius did not want them holding office or bringing in more immigrants. Instead, he wrote that the Jews (pdf) “should rest content with what belongs to them by…
If you hear somebody quote the Bible outside of church, it’s usually not a good sign. The occasional gasp of “Jesus Christ” or “Gaht damn” and various forms of “Jesus be a fence” are all right, but those aren’t really Bible quotes and could denote anything from having missed the bus to winning the daily Lotto at the…
White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders is a mindless propaganda puppet, and U.S. Attorney General Jeff Sessions—aka King Kleeber Klaus or KKK or Racist Santa—is a heartless demon who deals in racism and xenophobia. Both of them are trash individuals, and they proved that fact on Thursday when they both…
The Justice Department announced Tuesday that it has arrested more than 2,300 suspected online child-sex offenders during a nationwide operation that lasted three months.
Attorney General Jeff Sessions has always been trash. He openly hates arguably the most peaceful herb of all herbs, and Martin Luther King Jr.’s widow openly despised his ass. That’s right: Coretta Scott King took time out of her busy day to pen a letter to block the 1986 nomination of Jeff Sessions for federal judge…
Last week while we were all debating whether it was Laurel or Yanny, watching white people calling the police on black people just because they can, and continuing to marvel at the comedy of errors that is the current presidential administration, the federal prisons director quietly resigned from his position because…
Donald Trump has been the conspiracy whisperer throughout his entire public life. Even before he was president, he was convinced that the Central Park Five were guilty (they weren’t). He spent years claiming that former President Barack Obama was born in Kenya (he wasn’t). He suggested that Supreme Court Justice…
On Monday the Department of Justice announced that it was hitting 57 members of white supremacist gangs with charges of kidnapping and drug conspiracies—the result of a drug-trafficking sting in North Texas.
U.S. Attorney General Jeff Sessions was quick to recuse himself from the Russia investigation. It is a decision that caused him to lose favor with Donald Trump, who famously said that he never would have appointed Sessions as attorney general if he had known the recusal was going to happen.
During President Donald Trump’s tweet storm from his private shithole known commonly as Mar-a Lago in Florida, the president of coastal Kansas tweeted a gem of sorts that got many wondering what the hell kind of medication he’s been taking.
Donald Trump hates Jeff Sessions with a passion. Sessions thought he was going to be a Trump guy, coming out all early in support of Trump for president. He thought he was in for sure when Trump put him up for the U.S. attorney general job. He was probably like, “I’m in there!”
President Donald Trump, who has repeatedly shown his utter disdain for the rule of law, the FBI and the Justice Department, has clearly put a big-ass target on Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein’s back.
Last year I wrote about an environmental-racism conspiracy in which a corrupt black congressman implicated Jeffrey Wood, the man now overseeing the Justice Department’s Environment and Natural Resources Division, or ENRD. I’m back to report that this story has aged like wine: It’s gotten more complex, mightily more…
