jason whitlock
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When a Black Construction Bag Filled With Dog Poop Interviews a Presidential Colostomy Bag
Jason Whitlock is a black construction bag filled with vomit and precious white things placed inside the bed of a white man’s pickup truck next to a pair of king’s boots that he occasionally rubs for sustenance. If Jason Whitlock was stranded in the desert and God was willing to grant him one item of…
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Jason Whitlock's Sexist Comments About ESPN's Maria Taylor, Katie Nolan Earn Him the Much Deserved Ire of the Internet
I’m a big believer in protecting my energy, so to that end, Jason Whitlock doesn’t exist in my universe. At all. However, far too often, Jason Whitlock Jason Whitlocks—and try as I may ignore his unique brand of clownery, I’m left with no choice but to acknowledge his Negro nonsense. On Sunday, the man who…
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Why Jason Whitlock Is Not a Black Man
This article contains two opinions: Jason Whitlock is not stupid. Jason Whitlock is Black. The rest is fact. Whether you like him or not, most people share these opinions of Jason Whitlock. Although I often disagree with his viewpoint, I understand that his function in life is to serve as a funnel through which anti-Black…
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Candace Owens, Jason Whitlock, John McWhorter, Sage Steele and the Myth of 'Questioning Blackness'
I am not real. I am a fictional character in a 244-year-old fairy tale called America. I am a bit player in the simplistic children’s adaptation of this story where all men are created equal in a land that offers liberty and justice for all. I overcome slavery and Jim Crow in the young adult…
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Sentient Porkpie Hat Jason Whitlock Out at Fox Sports
Jason Whitlock, the Tomi Lahren of Clarence Thomases, is reportedly out at Fox Sports, after they couldn’t come to an agreement on a new contract. I first learned of this news on Twitter, where his name is currently trending. And his name is trending because he is so thoroughly loathed that news of him parting…
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Black Man With (Possible? Probable?) Hair Plugs Complains That Black People Care Too Much About Our Hair
Perhaps the most telling aspect of thrift shop fedora repurposed as a strip club daytime shift buffet tray with sentience Jason Whitlock’s continued descent into Take Perdition is that there’s no variance with him. For someone who frequently decries SJW groupthink, he’s as predictable as a burp after a sip of soda. If a black…
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Can Someone Please Give Jason Whitlock a Hug or Invite Him to Brunch or Something?
Sentient Stacy Adams shoebox Jason Whitlock is trending again today, for the same reason that his name always appears on my timeline when it does. A popular black athlete said or did something moderately cool, and this act offended Whitlock’s sensibilities enough for him cast judgment on said athlete with the fury of 27 porkpie…
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Yeah, This Might Be Jason Whitlock’s Worst and Saddest Take Ever
Sentient pile of repurposed lamp-heated rotisserie pork rinds Jason Whitlock has descended so far into the abyss of oafish takes and porkpie hats that my feelings about him have shifted from annoyance to contempt to where they exist now, which is pity. The things he says about race and culture—on Twitter and on his show—aren’t…