houston rockets
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I Hate to be the Bearer of Bad News, But Your Team Isn't Winning an NBA Title This Year. Here's Why
You still upset about the headline? You can bitch and moan all you want, but your team still ain’t winning shit. So once you’re done with your temper tantrum, I’ll happily explain why. You done? Cool. Let’s go. When last they left us: 43-21, 3rd seed in the Eastern Conference. How did they get here?…
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The NBA Bubble Isn't Even a Week Old Yet and Players Are Already Violating Quarantine
While the rest of us are left to the mercy of selfish-ass friends and neighbors who seem hell-bent on catching the coronavirus, NBA players have fortified themselves inside of the ESPN Wide World of Sports campus for one common cause: not to catch that shit. Yet despite the extraordinary lengths that the league has gone…
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Trae Young Charged With Assault, Felony Elder Abuse for Filthy Crossover on Andre Iguodala
Contrary to popular belief, NBA players aren’t superhuman; they need a breather to recharge their minds and bodies just like everyone else. So with their extended vacation, NBA All-Star Weekend, officially in the rearview mirror, Thursday night meant it was time to get back to work—and a number of players did exactly that. With teammate…
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Yeah LeBron, This Ain’t a Good Look [Updated]
After watching the fourth quarter of last night’s explosive Los Angeles Lakers and Houston Rockets game live, and after watching the ensuing fight(s) from approximately 17,000 different angles, the single most entertaining thing is how Chris Paul turns into an impression of Kevin Hart doing an impression of someone about to fight, and how this…
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Hat Tip: Carmelo Anthony Debuts New Collaboration with Goorin Bros.
His first outing with the Houston Rockets may have been less than stellar, but Carmelo Anthony’s other debut seems quite promising. Melo may be best known for his headbands, but the NBA star also loves a hat, as evidenced by his latest collaboration with hat makers Goorin Bros. The second Carmelo Anthony x Goorin Bros.…
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How Sen. Ted Cruz Cursed the Houston Rockets and Kept Them Out of the NBA Finals
Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas), aka “Grown-Up Eddie Munster,” posted a photo of himself at the Toyota Center on Monday night, where the Houston Rockets were set to take on the Golden State Warriors, and all Rockets fans knew it was downhill from there. After Cruz’s photo was posted to Twitter, Houston Rockets fans jumped in…
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Did Chris Paul Elbow Kevin Durant in the Butthole Last Night?
Below, because I know you’re curious, are the five worst places to be elbowed during a basketball game (in reverse order): 5. armpit (trust me) 4. nose 3. eye Tie: 2. nuts/stomach/ribs 1. butthole (presumably) Anyway, yes. Chris Paul definitely elbowed Kevin Durant in the butthole. Perhaps the first midgame butthole elbow I’ve ever seen.…
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Los Angeles Lakers Guard Andre Ingram’s Inspired Night Proves It’s Never Too Late to Chase Your Dreams
The Los Angeles Lakers’ newest addition, Andre Ingram, is living proof that no one should ever give up on their dreams. For 10 years Ingram played in near obscurity in the NBA’s G League. For 10 years Ingram bounced around the G League playing for the Utah Flash, the Los Angeles D-Fenders, the Perth Wildcats…
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James Harden Signs 4-Year, $228,000,000 Extension With Houston Rockets. Will He Lead Their Super Team?
James Harden, the bearded dynamo guard for the Houston Rockets, signed a four-year extension with his team Saturday that will earn him a total of $228 million over the next six years. Do you think Khloé Kardashian has hit him up with that “Hey big head” message yet? Because I know I did. According to…