hotep
-
This Conversation With Erykah Badu Will Make You Wonder if She Dabbles in Hotepery
“I don’t care if the whole group says something; I’m going to be honest. I know I don’t have the most popular opinion sometimes,” Erykah Badu said during an interview with Vulture that left me wondering if years of breathing in incense fumes could cause brain damage, because these opinions of hers are problematic, to…
-
The Root’s Clapback Mailbag: The Last Hotep
If you enjoy our weekly roundup of emails, tweets, direct messages, comments and that one voicemail we did months ago, you probably won’t like this edition of the Clapback Mailbag. You might not even recognize it. While it will be chock-full of clapbacks as usual, this week’s mailbag marks the first time no white supremacist…
-
Never Go Full Hotep: Indiana Nurse Posts Racist Rant, Loses Job
An Indiana nurse was on some advanced-level Hotepery when she reportedly tweeted, “Every white woman raises a detriment to society when they raise a son. Someone with the HIGHEST propensity to be a terrorist, rapist, racist, killer, and domestic violence all star. Historically every son you had should be sacrificed to the wolves Bitch.” Ouch.…
-
B.o.B.’s Apparent Belief That Slave Ships Never Existed May Be the Most Hotep Conspiracy Theory of All Time
Flat-earther B.o.B constantly proves my belief that a person can be a genius in one field and totally clueless in another. We previously reported that the talented rapper and singer was raising funds to build a satellite that will once and for all settle the debate about whether or not the planet is dinner-plate shaped.…
-
10 Easy Costumes for Black People Who Aren’t Really Into Halloween Like That but Still Want to Have Fun
Requirements: A “full beard with no mustache” mask. Patchouli-marinated dashiki over some joggers and Polo boots. A white blow-up doll (your date). Absolutely, positively, no lotion. Requirements: Chinos and Sperry docksiders (if male) or whatever the fuck is in Stacey Dash’s closet (if female). Shirts, slacks and dresses limited to four colors: red, white, blue…
-
Why You're Trash-Ass Trash If You Use Negro Bed Wench As An Insult, Explained
What is a Negro Bed Wench? Many things! A reliable hotep identifier. An ash magnet, as anyone who says it immediately becomes engulfed in a shroud of ash, like a chimney sweep with sentience. A valuable source of time efficiency, as hearing those three words in succession lets you know you don’t ever have to listen to…
-
I Will Literally Give Someone Actual Money To Attend Dr. Umar Johnson's Hotepalooza In Brooklyn And Report On It
You might remember geographically incorrect Africa medallion soaked in Thunderbird with sentience Dr. Umar Johnson from his prominent role in last year’s Hotep Civil War. (And if you don’t remember any of that, great! Congratulations! I’m jealous of your ability to erase that shit from your mind, and please forgive me for reminding you of it.) If…
-
Tyrese Very Obviously Needs A Hobby, So Let's Find Tyrese A Hobby!
Empty Stacey Adams shoebox lined with Baby Boy DVDs and back-ordered bigen with sentience Tyrese Gibson is very obviously bored. Because there’s no other reason for a recently married man to hop on Instagram and offer his unsolicited hotepian insights on how the women he’s not married to or even dating or sleeping with (because, again, this…
-
Confession: I Went On 2.5 Dates With A Hotep And Lived To Tell The Tale
Before Facebook memes about women making a plate for their man and Dr. Umar Johnson took the interwebs by storm, I was quite uninitiated to the world of the Hotep. I knew guys like Shazza Zulu from A Different World existed but I never thought I was the kind of dame to have one stumble…
-
Unique Views Podcast, Episode 25: Here Comes the Hotepper
Eyes back! Did you miss me? That’s right—the granddaddy of them all, your favorite light-skin’s favorite light-skin, is back, and I don’t have long to be here because surely Patti LaDanielle, aka Mrs. Idris Elba, aka Danielle Young, is going to find another way to try to cancel me out with her Diana Ross-Beyoncé antics.…