At this point, we should be looking at how much time President Kaftan von SoftFlesh has spent in office instead of looking at how many days his dumb ass spends golfing. Since taking office, the president of the continental United States is on track to triple former President Barack “We Miss You, Shawty” Obama’s first…

As lovely a title as “White House press secretary” sounds, if the job becomes nothing more than trying not to lose your brains and balls to your degenerate boss who’s detached from reality, when does one’s inner Kenny Rogers appear to “know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em”?