god
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All the Ways I Did Not Die
When sitting in the passenger seat of a car with a known drug-dealer during a high-speed chase, one should always wear a seat belt. Always. Thankfully, I came to the realization of this maxim seconds before the tire burst as I was sitting in the passenger seat of a car with a known drug dealer…
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Sarah Sanders Said God ‘Wanted Donald Trump to Become President.’ God Responds
On Wednesday, White House Spokesliar Sarah Suckabee Sanders told the Christian Broadcasting Network that she believes God wanted Donald Trump to be president of the United States, according to a transcript of the interview provided to CNN. “I think God calls all of us to fill different roles at different times and I think that…
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CNN White House Chief Sends ‘Fuck You’ DM to Melania Trump’s Former Aide
Jim Acosta is currently battling April Ryan for the title of God’s favorite journalist. On Thursday night Acosta, CNN’s chief White House correspondent, was minding his own damn Twitter business when he tweeted about a Trump rally in Montana (yes, this bitch is still rallying. At this point, it’s a form of presidential masturbation), the…
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Biographer: Mike Pence Believes God Wants Him to Be President
Vice President Mike Pence, leader of America’s push for a space force, believes that God is calling him to be president. That’s right, the resident space cadet in the Oval Office not named Trump believes that God is “calling him” to “function as a president-in-waiting,” according to Michael D’Antonio, a CNN contributor and biographer of…
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Ray Lewis, the Lawd’s Favorite Linebacker, Claims That Odell Beckham Jr. Has Removed God From His Life
Dancing Ray Lewis, the former Baltimore Ravens great who can’t seem to stop dancing, is now using his relationship with God to decide who does and who doesn’t have a relationship with the Lord. Shortly after Lewis pleaded guilty to obstruction of justice after being charged with two counts of murder in the 2000 brawl…
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This Easter, We Get a Black Jesus and His Name Is John Legend
What are you doing this Easter Sunday? I’ve got a suggestion: Check out one of the most iconic musicals ever, Jesus Christ Superstar, live on your TV screens on NBC. Andrew Lloyd Webber’s powerful rock opera, which chronicles the final week of Jesus’ life, is being resurrected as Jesus Christ Superstar Live! with John Legend…
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Republicans Seem Hell-Bent on Showing Us That Their God Doesn’t Exist
I remember vivid details about the morning when I first decided I didn’t want to go to church anymore. I remember that my mother attempted to wake me several times that morning when she was already fully dressed, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, wearing her nurse’s uniform that she had to wear every fourth Sunday because she…
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Where Are All the Black Atheists?
I am black. I am also an atheist. It’s understandable if that surprises you. You’ve probably heard that the number of religiously unaffiliated people is rising. According to the Pew Research Center’s Religious Landscape Study, the percentage of Americans who identify as “unaffiliated,” or “religious nones,” is currently 22.8 percent. That’s a huge increase from…