florida
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Four Florida Men Steal $500,000 Worth of Tequila
If any fears from 2018 should make their way into 2019, let this be among them: Florida men are working in teams. A semi-truck driver entered a diner near Tampa to grab a bite to eat. A few minutes later, after learning the establishment had been closed since 5PM, he exited the highway diner to…
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State Supreme Court Rules That Florida's 'Stand Your Ground' Law Applies to Police Too
In a landmark decision, Florida’s State Supreme Court ruled Thursday that its police officers can use the state’s “stand your ground” self-defense law. In doing so, officers will be able to shield themselves from prosecution in instances involving disputed shootings. In its ruling, the court determined that police officers have the same rights as other…
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Schools Ban ‘Memorial Attire,’ Showing More Interest in Policing Black Students Than Teaching Them
Students at a Jacksonville, Fla., high school say they’ve been banned from wearing “memorial attire”—that is, clothes or jewelry honoring a deceased love one—because local officials believe the commemorations are tied to “gang activity.” According to News4Jax, students at Robert E. Lee High School (of course) were reminded on Wednesday that they couldn’t wear anything…
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Florida Judge Rules in Favor of Counting Votes Because…Football
In a win for Florida Democrats, Bill Nelson, the rule of law and common sense, a federal court cited the Constitution and (yes, this is actually true) the NFL rulebook to explain why election officials in the Sunshine State can’t just arbitrarily toss the ballots of eligible voters who voted by mail. “Consider the game…
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You Thought the Elections Were Over? Well, Florida Says Hold My Beer as Races May Head for a Recount
I was at a bar once when my buddy asked me to run “shy brother” and introduce him to a woman way out of his league. I walked over and explained that my friend thought she was attractive but he was super shy. She laughed. She’d seen Five Heartbeats, and then she very politely told…
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Frustrated With Trump, Some Florida Republicans Throw Support Behind Andrew Gillum
JACKSONVILLE, Fla.—One of the first things Joe Bryant did when I walked into his home was to hand me his Republican Party membership card. “I wanted to show you my bonafides,” he said, before walking me over to his living room, where we sat and talked for nearly hour. He had to tell me why…
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Maybe We Actually Need Troops at the Border … of Florida
First of all, all this time we were out here protesting Confederate monuments, in the two thousand eighteenth year of our Lord and savior Simone Biles, there was a whole-ass town named Plantation? I really hope that the town is zero percent black. Next, you’ll be telling me that there’s a boutique bed and breakfast resort…
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Wannabe Cop Who Shot and Killed a Black Man Says He's Sorry But He Shouldn't Have Been Sent to Prison
Remember Robert Bates? Sure you do. He was the old, white Oklahoma man who wanted desperately to be a cop, so he donated loads of money to his local police force and, in turn, was allowed to be a volunteer deputy and participate in ride-alongs and even had a real working gun, which he used…
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The Most Pathetically Racist Robocall You've Ever Heard Against Florida Gubernatorial Candidate Andrew Gillum
Ok, racists listen up. It’s 2018. If you’re going to be racist, please step your insult game up. Most of the kids born in the 1980s don’t have a clue who the hell Stepin Fetchit was or know that Kingfish was one of the stars of the wildly popular Amos & Andy. If you’re still…